The Game 60
Edited by Karen Leigh
Green eyes opened and they looked dazed.
Ryan let go, suddenly very very afraid.
Mac 27 Number 55 turned toward the voice, his eyes still vacant as he tried to process his surroundings. This was not Innobotics. If this was not Innobotics, it must be the location to which he had been assigned. But it didn't look like a farm. He frowned, confused, and turned to the... That was not a Mac 27 staring at him. It was a human who *looked* like a Mac 27 but who also looked...different. Nice and different.
"I am Mac 27, Number 55," he managed a weak smile, "are you my new owner? Please forgive the question but I..." He closed his eyes for a few moments, trying to access any information that could shed light on why exactly he was behaving this way. "I think you may have to return me to Innobotics for repair."
Luke's question caught Sypher's full attention. Well, that was something at least. But the question of whether or not Luke was at full capacity was still unanswered. A glance at David showed that he was thinking the same thing.
The words "new owner" reverberated in Ryan's head, so much so that he didn't hear much of what Luke said before he mentioned repairs. What the hell was going on?
"Luke?" Ryan began tentatively again, meeting David's eyes across the room and seeing something he didn't expect in them -- empathy. Sypher looked upset. David also looked angry. One wasn't moving. Shit!
Luke shifted as though he was testing his motor circuits, drawing Ryan's attention back to him.
"Don't ... don't you remember? You worked for a guy named Orville that treated you like shit, but there was a woman, a child ... a girl, I think, and a dog that treated you well. On the farm before ... before ... Well, we met in a van when we got picked up for a mandatory recall of Mac 27 units."
There was no recognition in those eyes. Just polite interest, which increased at the mention of a mandatory recall. "But not for memory problems," Ryan quickly added. "It's a bit more complicated than that."
After taking a deep breath, he managed to continue, "I'm ... I'm Ryan. A ...friend. Do you remember anything?"
"I remember that I am a farm worker, Ryan, but I don't remember the people you mentioned. I'm afraid I don't remember that you and I are friends either, but I'm glad we are," he smiled at him. "Did you name me Luke?"
Uncertain, Ryan admitted, "I ... yeah, I did." He sighed, muttering, "You don't remember anything."
Sypher's heart clenched. Ryan was a nice guy, and life was throwing him a hell of a lot of curveballs lately. "He's been wiped, Ryan. His memory is gone. One too. I'm sorry. And we still have to figure out how badly they've been damaged. The memory wipe is something that can be worked around, but if the circuits are completely fried..." she clenched her eyes shut for a long moment.
Hearing Sypher say it made it all official somehow, took away the hope that he was dreaming or imagining the problem. Or that Luke was pulling his leg.
"If the circuits are fried, I don't know what we'll do. I don't think we have replacement parts here, and Skip is gone, as is pretty much all of his staff. I have a working knowledge of Mac 27 systems, but no practical experience, and even that won't be any good without parts."
"We'll figure something out," Ryan vowed. "Somehow."
David sighed. Sypher would not give up, but he feared the worst. His friend was gone and everything that they'd recently shared was gone with him. Wondering how he could miss what he'd fundamentally feared facing, David tried to focus on his server duties.
Looking over at One, who was now playing with a lock of her hair, Sypher sighed heavily. "And we have to accept that we may never get back what we've lost," she looked up into David's stricken face at that and saw the shimmer in his eyes that matched her own.
"But I'm not ready to give up yet."
Luke glanced at the others in the room as if noticing them for the first time. Two of them were Mac 27s, though one appeared to be out of service, and one was a female who wasn't exactly like him, but who wasn't unlike him either... He frowned, stood up and walked over to the others. "Why were we recalled?" he asked David.
David blinked, glanced at Ryan and noted the human's anger. "We were not recalled as that term is generally understood. It was used to justify rounding us up in order that we might serve our secondary function." Seeing puzzlement on Luke's face, David offered, "I will transmit a brief history of the Mac 27 project and events to date." He nodded in Ryan's direction. "Ryan can fill in the details as they impact you as well as anyone."
Something made David hesitate. He suspected that it was a fear of his words applying to One. "However, you are no longer a product of your past experiences, Unit ... ah ... Luke. You have the opportunity to start fresh. Use it wisely."
Turning Mac 27 unit 55 back toward Ryan gently, David tried to distract himself sending vague, reassuring transmissions to the other units about what had happened and what steps were being taken to rectify it. His words were truthful. They didn't know the extent of the damage to One and lacked an assessment of Phoenix's condition. The confident tone in which he'd broadcast the status report was completely false. David viewed it as a minor, necessary deception.
Luke frowned as he walked back toward Ryan. Start fresh? The data that David had sent him had been brief, indeed, but Luke wondered what the point of starting fresh was if he was only going to be found and destroyed.
Ryan hadn't been able to tear his eyes away from Luke ever since the android had screamed his name. The look on his face at the moment made Ryan sad --lost, forlorn, frightened and yet somehow terribly terribly resigned. It was so different from what he'd become accustomed to that Ryan felt despair.
"Ryan," he said softly, suddenly feeling very confused and unwilling to know anything more, "will it be all right if I leave this room? I'm...afraid of what is happening...of what he's telling me." He looked pleadingly at Ryan. "May I leave?" There was a slight pause as he regarded the man who'd said he was his friend. "Will you come with me?"
Ryan was consumed with the need to make everything all right for Luke. He'd never felt that kind of thing before, much less this fiercely. Sensing that he needed to tread lightly without fully understanding why, Ryan replied, "Sure, Luke. We can go wherever you want. And," Ryan added with a smile, "I'll come with you."
He didn't append, "I've got no where else to go." Luke didn't need to deal with Ryan's self-pity. Ryan hated not fitting in and he couldn't see how he could here, despite all the proclamations that he must be useful somehow as neither a Mac nor an Earth-based human.
Luke was grateful that Ryan had agreed to go with him, but he felt as if there was something he wasn't being told. For some reason it worried him and he didn't know why. He would definitely have to ask Ryan about it later, though.
With a small sigh, Ryan asked, "Where would you like to go? The cafeteria? Our ... ah ... our room? Somewhere else?"
Luke's ear perked up at the mention of their room and he smiled. "We must be good friends to share a room, Ryan. Let's go to our room." He sobered and lowered his voice, stealing glances at the three figures on the other side of the room. "I have to talk to you about some things I don't understand. I don't want them to overhear."
Ryan followed Luke's eyes and regarded David, Sypher and One for a moment. One's eyes were opened, but David's expression hadn't altered appreciably. Something was still very wrong. Knowing David a little and seeing his preoccupation, Ryan imagined that Luke had gotten a very terse description of the situation. And something in it had spooked him. Not terribly surprising that.
Agreeing to Luke's plan with a nod, Ryan led the way to their accommodations. The moment he stepped in the doorway, he regretted that they hadn't gotten around to changing the sheets and making the bed. It looked well and truly slept in.
Or is that not slept in?
Luke noted that there was only one bed. Thanks to some simple programming that he was grateful he could still access, he knew that it was usually customary for humans to share a bed if they were romantically involved with one another. Or perhaps other circumstances simply warranted him sharing a bed with his friend. Either way, he felt an excited, though slightly puzzling buzz race through him.
He smiled at Ryan. "We are close friends and we share a bed." Nodding to himself, he looked into the room again. "I'm very glad, Ryan."
Blushing slightly, Ryan gestured Luke into the room, voice as neutral as he could make it in inquiring, "What's troubling you, Luke?"
"I'm not...hearing everything I should," Luke said, looking around the room nervously. "There are transmissions coming in and I can hear less than fifty percent of whatever is being sent. Even what I'm receiving isn't exactly clear. I'm afraid that if the others find out they'll consider me a liability." He looked at Ryan, his eyes wide. "They won't be able to use me and might let me be destroyed."
Ryan opened and shut his mouth a few times -- stunned. This sounded nothing like Luke. Suddenly, Sypher's words came back to him --something about Luke being totally wiped. He hadn't known what that meant at the time but now realized that she'd tried to tell him that the android he'd known was gone. The widened eyes focused trustingly on him demanded a response and Ryan couldn't deny this new Luke that. There would be time to grieve for the old one later.
"No one is going to destroy you."
"But I'm not fully functioning, Ryan. Why wouldn't they destroy me?"
Luke looked dubious, so Ryan continued, "They can't afford to. If we're really at war, no one is expendable. No matter how impaired you think you might be."
Well, that certainly didn't look to be reassuring Luke at all. And Ryan could understand why -- mentally kicking himself for clarifying his not expendable declaration.
"Luke," Ryan murmured. "Don't worry. To hurt you, they'll have to come through me. Okay?"
Something in Ryan's tone of voice made the back of Luke's neck tingle and he paused before thanking him. "I--" He twitched as a white light flashed through his neural system and he was bombarded by emotions, the strongest of which was a deep affection for Ryan.
"Luke are you.?"
His arms were a blur as they went around Ryan and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Ryan," he said softly, burying his face against Ryan's neck as he clung to him. "I know I'm safe with you."
"Okay?" Ryan finished, bringing his arms up around the android.
As quickly as it started, it stopped, and Luke slowly let Ryan go. Confused, he blinked a few times as he tried to recall the data he'd just managed to access. "I think I remembered something, Ryan, but it's gone now. I'm sorry. I'm trying to remember."
The smile leapt to Ryan's face, despite his fear for the being that he held. It would take a far better man than Ryan not to respond to the naked trust in Luke's voice.
--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--
Everything had been white, a searing flash of white and pain, followed by utter darkness...and then just - this.
With the muffled cacophony of voices in the background, One could hear the whispers of pain that accompanied Sypher's words in his head. Something was very wrong. She should not be suffering. It had to stop. His certainty was compounded as he heard David's anguish reverberating around hers. One was in no pain but he realized that he had no idea how he had got here or why they should be suffering. He implemented a self-diagnostic program.
David spun and looked quickly to One. His eyes were still closed, but he was running a diagnostic. Hope surged even though David suspected that it might well be as false as his confidence had been.
Bits and pieces began to return. Phoenix. The ship. Sypher...
One let go of Sypher's hair and moved a finger across her cheek instead. "I have access to all functioning memory centers. I am not certain, but it may be that I've sustained a considerable shock to my internal systems. A surge, although I cannot ascertain-" He stopped. Innobotics. And Phoenix. Who was off-line.
Sypher shuddered at One's touch and felt the tears spill over to drip off her chin. Thank God. /Welcome back, love. You really have to stop doing this to us./
Breathing a sigh of relief, David directed his attention to asserting order over the minor chaotic disarray of the Mac 27 communication net.
One had access but it was scattered and unreliable. He shook his head and frowned. "There is minor damage between the relays of my higher brain functions and the connection with the rest of you. It may have severely impaired my abilities as a server." The words 'forced reboot' resounded in his head but something stopped him from speaking them aloud. Ah yes, that was it. David's reaction to such a suggestion had to be considered.
Looking between the two of them, he realized that saying anything at all was better than remaining silent. They both looked so worried.
One's words were encouraging, but David sensed that there was something that he wasn't saying. Frowning, he forced himself to reach out and concentrate on One.
Aside from the personal, David worried about Wraith. One had postulated that they would have to combine their efforts to handle him. David didn't relish fighting that battle on his own. Cursing himself as a coward, David tentatively reached out and tried to strengthen the link between he and One.
"I - I think that I may have received damage, although it is not complete. There is simply no way for me to tell how effectively I can operate now under these new conditions."
Their expressions looked even more concerned as he spoke. This was not good. The need to allay their fears and make them stop worrying was overwhelming. Indeed, the private jolt of pain he felt as he realized that Luke/No.55 was completely wiped, made him realize exactly how painful it must be for David and Sypher at this moment.
One looked into Sypher's eyes and held his hand to her cheek. "I'm still here," he said. And it was true, for he could hear both of them along the link. He had a feeling though that Sypher knew what might have to be done, as he did. There might not be any other way.
Sypher breathed a sigh of relief and scrubbed the tears away with the back of one hand. But the link had been undeniably weakened. One's voice wasn't nearly as strong as it had once been, and even though the damage seemed to be contained to secondary pathways, there was still enough of it to make a difference. David was even now trying to boost his link with One to no avail.
None of the standard server protocols strengthened his link with One. Frustrated, David scanned his files for alternatives.
But to put David through something that for him was fraught with invasiveness and stress...atop the current situation which was already careening wildly, what with the status of the Innobotics mission... One realized he was going to have to depend on both of them like never before. With his functions severely compromised and the stakes too high to bandy words, he sighed and sent a cautious thought to David. //I may need more than you can give me. It may be that the only way to restore many of my higher functions is through a forced reboot.
David jumped. The pleasant shock of hearing One's mental voice, still distinctive although different than before in many subtle ways, was overridden by distaste for the named procedure. Carefully and ruthlessly, David masked any overt reaction.
This does not have to be done here, nor does it need to be done now. However, it severely limits my capabilities to remain as I am.//
David's shoulders relaxed in relief at the reprieve. He needed time to think. To consider. To try and understand the procedure and its myriad implications. There would be no surprise this time. If they proceeded, they would do so knowingly and willingly.
On a private channel, Sypher comforted David as best she could. /Beloved, he will not push you farther than you're willing to go, but it may come down to you having to push yourself because we're running out of time. Whatever you decide, I will be here for you. Remember that./
One allowed a measure of guilt and regret to color his next sentence. //I thought that perhaps the ship with the mobility and abilities it would afford us would be the answer as opposed to remaining in a defensive position. I recognize that may have shaken your trust. My friend, I need you. In your own time.//
Not trusting himself to speak, either aloud or mentally, David simply nodded. Even he didn't know what he meant by that gesture. His logic processing was unusually sluggish, and his emotive subsystems were insisting that there had to be another way. Blindly, David reached for Sypher's hand. When she slipped hers into his, he entwined their fingers and held on, opening a link to determine how Sasha was doing with Phoenix and with One so that he would receive information as soon as David himself did.
//We ... we will speak of this matter once the crisis is past.//
Sypher gave a gentle snort of derision and a grin. /When is the crisis *ever* past, Demon? The best we can hope for is a lull...which I'm pretty sure we're not going to get./ A discreet call to the kitchen had nourishment on it's way, and one to Gross had her assured that Alex and Mulder would eventually make their way back to the compound under his escort. As for Phoenix...she sighed heavily. He was dangerous, to be sure, and the last thing she wanted was to bring an enemy like him into their stronghold, but he couldn't possibly be left behind at Innobotics. At Sasha's assurance that the containment field had been uploaded, she turned to David.
"Demon, what are we going to do about Phoenix? Even incapacitated, he shouldn't be left to his own devices--he's far too dangerous. Wraith, we still have a chance of reasoning with, but Phoenix..." she shuddered as the image from his mind sped across the link. Hesitantly, she said, "I may be able to get Morpheus to help us with him...but asking him is going to be difficult, and possibly dangerous. I'm hoping I won't have to."
"Are all concubines so disrespectful?"
David smiled at the look of disbelief that appeared on Sypher's face and watched while she decided how to interpret what he said.
"If so, I will think twice about availing myself of such ... services in the future."
As he'd hoped, she laughed. It was a very pleasant sound and one that was sorely needed in their situation and, he had little doubt, would be needed in the ordeal to come.
Returning to the business at hand, he muttered, "After Phoenix is secured, we ... I ... One and I ... will ... do what must be done. As to securing Phoenix, I do not believe it is possible to accomplish remotely. We have a choice to make. We either bring him here, and attempt to salvage him, or we destroy him."
Glancing at One, David murmured, "I know which route he would have us choose. What is your opinion, my concubine?"
--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--
There having been nothing more they could do in the command center, Marcus led Johnny to the indoor meditation garden--far enough away not to be underfoot, yet near enough that they could come back quickly if they were needed. They had been sitting quietly for a while now, and while that seemed to be normal for Johnny most of the time; Marcus knew that this time it was not. But there wasn't anything he could think of to say or do that would ease Johnny's distress, and Marcus felt helpless. Still, Johnny seemed to want him there; so there he was, transmitting a low-level soothing hum along their link and generally trying to comfort both Johnny and himself as best he could.
Johnny remotely followed the situation at Innobotics as it unfolded advising Sasha by remote of the best way to handle Jess. But when Baines dropped the explosive down the elevator shaft, Sasha quickly transmitted an apology and ceased broadcasting to devote more processor cycles to the situation unfolding. So now he had no way of knowing if his werewolf friend had survived or not.
[I shouldn't have let her walk away from me in the infirmary without explaining why I didn't tell her about the chip. I should be there with her.] He looked over at Marcus and smiled a bit apologetically. "I'm sorry, Marcus. I'm not the best company right now."
A wave of sorrow and worry passed over Marcus, and he recognized it as coming from Johnny. Johnny was worried about Jess, just as Marcus himself was about Sypher. Something had happened, but he was unable to get an answer from either her or David666. All he knew was that One was somehow...gone. He was there, but not, which was very disturbing in its own right. And the one thing Marcus wanted, *needed*, more than anything else at the moment was something that he felt was very inappropriate to ask for under the circumstances. Still...
Johnny could sense that something horrible had happened to One, and that Sypher was unresponsive to Marcus' inquiries. He wanted so badly to reach out and comfort Marcus, to say he understood completely. He also wanted to hold the beautiful android, to make them forget their worries if only for a few moments of passion.
Shaking from the force of emotions racing through him and terrified of being rebuffed, Marcus slipped in behind Johnny; wrapping arms and legs around the other android and resting his lips in the hollow of Johnny's neck. His processors surged with emotion as a feeling of protectiveness swept over him. Is this what love is? He thought to himself in wonderment. It is beautiful.
Johnny leaned backwards, relaxing into Marcus's arms. It felt good to be held, to be touched. He had only had tactile contact with others when he was performing his duties as a guard. To be touched for the sake of being touched only was a new sensation for him. One that he found he enjoyed. Gently he stroked his hands along the strong arms encircling him.
"Johnny...beloved," Marcus stumbled over the endearment, unsure of the reaction it would cause, "I want to help you, and to comfort you as much as I am able to. Tell me how I can do that...please? It...hurts me to see you so unhappy. I want to ease your suffering, if only for a short while. Show me how to do that. I love you too much to let you continue on this way alone. I need you with me. I need you..." unaware of the fact that he was now kissing and tasting the smooth skin of Johnny's neck, Marcus felt his processors surge once more as the scent and taste of Johnny's unique signature exploded within him.
Johnny twisted around so he was now facing Marcus.
Vibrating so hard Marcus thought he might come apart, he found he was now being kissed as he lay flat on his back in the lush grass and he welcomed it wholeheartedly.
/I need you, Johnny...please...help me...love me.../
/I need you too, my love/ Johnny sent along their link. /But this is very new to me. I was guard, not a.... toy./ He gently stroked Marcus' hair back from his eyes. /I have the... appropriate files... but I've never used of them./ His lips traveled down to Marcus' neck. /Will you teach me?/
Marcus went suddenly still. /Johnny...you are inexperienced?/ At the pensive wave the other transmitted, a strange feeling of what humans called pride came over him, coupled with awe. Marcus could not imagine someone as beautiful as Johnny never having experienced copulation. He had imagined that Johnny would have had his pick of willing partners anytime he wished; to learn otherwise threatened to overload his logic processors and damage his central pump. With the equivalent of a human blush, he admitted, /I am inexperienced as well. But I would like to give you pleasure...I want so much to love you, Johnny. You make me feel...amazing. I want to be part of you, if only for a little while./
/Marcus, my love, I want to be part of you as well. But I want it to be for more than a little while./ Maybe it was due to an emphasis on loyalty in his guard subroutines, but the thought of only having a few moments with Marcus brought a wave of sadness echoing through his emotional processors. /What do you want from me, love?/
A file opened and he shared the contents across their mental link. /This is what I want, love. I would like to experience this with you. Please?/
/Yes... my love./ Although he wasn't entirely certain that the kitchen had raspberry truffle sauce, he was confident he could modify the contents of the file to fit the situation. Shifting so now he lay on his side facing Marcus, Johnny slowly began to unzip his coverall part way. Kissing his neck, Johnny slipped a hand inside to feel his warm, hairless chest before circling a thumb around his nipple.
--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--
Beau's eyes glazed over slightly. Matthew had noticed that a number of times since they'd had sex. His eyes would sort of defocus and he'd go still. A few moments later, he'd blink and turn on the Southern charm again. It was almost as though he was ... listening to something that Matthew couldn't hear.
Finding an outlet for the curiosity he'd stifled earlier, Matthew leaned closer and whispered, "Hey, Beau. What's going on? You hearing voices?"
Beau's smile took Matthew's breath away.
Do I look like that when I smile?
Not quite sure how to explain what exactly he was hearing - hell, Beau didn't understand it himself - he could only hope that Matthew would be able to accept his vague explanation.
"Ah'm not sure what's goin on, Matthew. Every once in a while, Ah can almost hear the others - the other Mac's. It's so confusin', though." Beau frowned, trying to describe the strangeness of what he kept hearing. "A jumble of words and feelings. Kinda like when the radio ain't quite set right an' ya git three stations comin' in at once. An' they're all full of static so you git maybe one word in three. "Cept the one that was followin' us - Dunno why, but Ah kin hear him very clearly."
Beau crossed over to Cory and put one hand on his shoulder. "That Mac - the one that's followin us - his name is Gabriel. He's out in the hall with Tallulah."
Cory frowned up at Beau. "And you know this how?"
Shrugging, Beau shook his head. "Well - it seems that Ah kin hear him - mebbe because he's concentrating on you - and us. Ah'm not sure how it works - but Ah definitely hear him. He wants to meet you - but he's afraid of your knowing that he's an android. Ah think he... well, the boy seems to have taken quite a shine to you."
Huh. Cory scrubbed his face with both hands. Just what he needed. Another look-a-like - this one a Mac. Of course, having spent some time with Beau, he'd come to realize that these so-called androids all seemed to have distinct personalities and the very human desire for... for life, security and love.
"Beau, why do you call him 'boy'?"
"Ah git the distinct impression that this is new to him - he seems to have recently changed somehow. His feelings - emotions are a recent development. And, Ah think they frighten him a little." Matthew, standing close beside Beau, lending silent support, gave Beau the courage to continue. "Ah think maybe you should go talk to him, Cory. Give him a chance to see that you won't reject him because he's like me - like all of us androids."
"Okay," Cory agreed. "I'll go talk to him."
"Be careful with him, Cory - he's fragile, somehow," Beau advised. "Don't... don't scare him."
Cory nodded his agreement. "As you say, Beau."
Walking over to the door, Cory paused for a moment before opening it, gathering himself. He'd had a rough couple of days and he concentrated on pushing his own hesitations to the side. He'd go out, talk to this Gabriel and find out what the 'boy' wanted. A deep breath for courage, and he pulled the door open and stepped out into the hall.
As soon as Gabriel's eyes met his, Cory read the fear - and the impending flight. "Easy there, Gabriel. I... well, Beau sent me out - he said you wanted to meet me."
Offering his best reassuring smile, Cory crossed to stand a few feet in front of Gabriel. "I see you've met Tallulah. She's a doll, isn't she?"
Tallulah wriggled in Gabriel's hold, whining her joy at seeing Cory again. As the Mac had made no move to run as of yet, Cory stepped closer and tugged on one of the puppy's ears. "Hey darlin'," he said to her softly. "I see you've made a new conquest."
--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--
Anson followed Philip, staying well behind the man. His hold on his temper was tenuous at best and he would take no chance on running into Philip again.
The main building loomed ahead, and Anson quickened his steps - he wanted - no, he needed to tell Methos what Philip had said. As he climbed the steps, he saw Philip sprawled on the nearest chaise, apparently unconscious.
For a second, Anson considered reacting to the protective feeling he'd thought erased by Philip's hateful words. It took more strength than he'd thought possible to pass by the man. But, he did. He needed Methos. Had to find him. Had to find him NOW.
Breaking into a run, he headed towards the infirmary. As he approached, he saw Cory and another look-a-like - one he didn't know - standing in the hall with Beau's dog.
Cory looked up in wary surprise at Anson's rapid approach, and then frowned with concern at the near panic evident on his face.
"Anson!" Cory grabbed one arm, pulling Anson to a stop. "What's wrong? Tell me - what's happened? Where's Philip?"
"Out front," Anson panted. "I think he's sick, or something - looks unconscious."
"Where exactly is he, Anson?" Cory asked urgently.
"On the front porch - chair - Where's Methos? I need to find Methos."
"Okay," Cory turned Anson and pushed him to the infirmary door. "He's in there - you get him. I'll go check on Philip."
As Cory turned to leave, he glanced back at Gabriel. "You coming?"
Gabriel remembered the way that the man, Philip, had seemed so withdrawn and unapproachable. It appeared that he was in distress. The sheer number of emotional complexities and psychological variables involved in this situation appeared to be multiplying exponentially before his eyes. He wanted to be useful and helpful but felt absolutely stupid standing there holding Tallulah. He gulped. This was not a time for action, for duty or immediate soldiering. This was an emotional minefield, and Gabriel felt ill prepared. Cory was obviously needed elsewhere and while Gabriel wanted nothing more than to be near Cory, get to know him and learn what it might mean to be a 'friend', he knew that Philip needed help.
"I-I'll stay here. Philip is in obvious need of assistance and you are all far more able to deal with him than I am. But please, let me know if there is anything I can do to help." He watched, feeling forlorn and almost as if he'd let the Immortal down as Cory shrugged and began to walk away, stalking purposefully down the corridor in search of Philip.
--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--
The sense of spinning, of wildly telescoping spatial orientation, dissipated rather quickly as Philip leaned back and closed his eyes. But a lassitude, a vibrating weakness, had come over him, and he simply couldn't make himself get up quite yet. In a minute. Just a few more minutes, then he'd go hunt up a meal -- hopefully take-away, if someone there, or down at the gate, could tell him where all the arriving vehicles had been put. Get away from the roiling, suffocating energy of this place, and whatever Waco scenario was playing out. He was sure he'd feel better as soon as he could get on the road and put this place behind him, no matter what Anson said.
Anson... He grunted in renewed irritation. /No self-confidence, my ass. Some act.../ Just the thought of it -- staring into eyes blazing and not quite there, mouth curled into a sneer, each of them challenging the other so closely that they were all but breathing one another's air. One another's aroused scent. Feeling each other's solid heat. Philip's stomach did a low, slow roll, spreading a shudder through the rest of him. Not only anger, or desire, or even hunger. Something else...something Anson had said. Arrogant bastard, glaring and threatening and still not getting it...
Why was it so hard to understand? It wasn't the sex. Not with Anson, anyway. Hadn't he *told* the man that? It was the...you just didn't walk off with people. You didn't just...just *take* them. It was still all a blur, but Philip was beginning to be pretty sure there had been some other people in that clinic. A strange woman, and... No, it was gone. But if it had been all right to leave *them*, then Anson's argument was as baseless as he'd thought it was. Son of a bitch... And what did he mean by "Them", making him a lab rat? For what?
Half opening his eyes, he took in the tranquility of the darkening lawn, the woods beyond. Insane paranoia, that's all it was. Yet, Philip's chest tightened; the colors taunted the edges of his vision, and it was suddenly harder to breathe. Just get yourself out of here, and you'll be okay. Just get away. Have to get away...
An inchoate jumble of images suddenly filled his mind. Darkness, a sense of the thick, sharply rancid smell of burning plastic and insulation...fires, blood...and not quite blood. Screaming... A little girl, and...another face like his own, seen through other eyes and accompanied by an intensity of passion that was like a physical blow... Just as strong, a rage and terror...and the colors. Lights, great floating masses of power. Faces. Not faces...
The onslaught was gone almost as quickly as it had come. Back to god knew where, god knew whom, and leaving him gasping, his heart hammering. Gradually, the pounding in his ears subsided into a sound of hurried footsteps, and he felt the approach of an energy he knew was Cory flowing out to envelop him.
Wearily, he set his feet back on the floor and sat more or less upright, waiting.
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The door to the infirmary opened and Beau looked out to see Gabriel standing there holding his dog. Tallulah whined piteously and Gabriel instinctively clutched her tighter.
"Ah thought ah heard you out here, girl!" Beau said, chuckling. He glanced up at Gabriel and then at Cory who was quickly retreating down the corridor. His eyes narrowed as he shrewdly assessed the situation. "The, ah, dear lady doctor within won't take kindly to pets in her medical bay - so would you mind holding onto to this bundle of trouble for awhile longer?"
"Certainly," said Gabriel, relief at being helpful and useful in this situation flooding through him.
Beau continued, "Ah think Cory could do with the support. Why don't you take her with you and accompany him outside? Ah'll find you when we're through here." Beau winked at him and then withdrew, leaving Gabriel standing open-mouthed and a bit derailed.
Gabriel sighed to himself and decided that there was nothing for it but to follow Beau's advice. He turned and murmured soothingly to Tallulah who was beginning to squirm in his arms. He quickly caught up with Cory who was making good time, stalking out to find Philip.
Walking a little more quickly than he usually did, Cory made his way out to Philip, Gabriel easily keeping pace at his side. Tallulah appeared to enjoy the ride, watching everything with fascination from her perch in Gabriel's arms.
As he came out the front door, Philip's presence washed over him, making his steps falter when he found the other man's quickening almost painful to absorb. Anson hadn't been exaggerating - something was seriously wrong here.
Cory blinked, then looked directly into Philip's eyes. He saw anger - lots of anger. Frustration. Determination. Confusion. Need. Fear. Most of all, there was a bone-deep weariness that nearly brought Cory to his knees.
Not stopping to think that this just wasn't his normal behavior, Cory crossed to Philip and squatted down to meet that god-awful stare. "Hey," he said softly, "you look ... tired, Philip, very tired. Do you need some help? Maybe I can help you get to your room?"
Wondering absently at how accustomed he was becoming to this disturbing new ability, Philip let Cory's energy flow around and through him. There were currents of distress that sparked his agitation, catching at his breath, but they swirled and coiled through a sensation that was like a warm, effervescent bath. He drew on it, just enough to be able to begin to focus, and realized Cory was speaking to him. He had to concentrate; the man's voice, soothing, seemed at first to be coming from very far away.
Calming, he finally raised his head and looked sidelong at Cory...and was stunned by the play of urgent emotion he saw there. Something told him it was something that had seldom been seen by anyone, and for a few long moments he could only return the level gaze, silent.
He watched Philip's unchanging expression warily, not sure how hard to push. "Um... Do you HAVE a room?" Cory asked, realizing that he, himself, did not have a room. Philip too was recently arrived and may very well not have gained accommodation either.
Philip frowned vaguely. Since he hadn't planned on staying, the thought hadn't occurred to him. But even if he'd still been welcome there, he certainly wasn't going to go back and spend another night with Methos and Anson... "No," he replied, his whisper thick and rough. "No, I don't. But I'm not..." Cory was right, though; he *was* very tired. Perhaps it would be better if he left rested and in full daylight. He could still hold out that long, couldn't he? "I wasn't going to..." He shrugged, looking around uncertainly. "Guess I could just sleep here..."
Tallulah wriggled excitedly, having caught Philip's scent and being delighted to her new friend again. Gabriel gave in to her demands and set her on the floor, and she made a beeline for Philip's lap.
Out of the corner of his eye, Cory saw the puppy launch herself at Philip. He shifted his weight to one side - out of Tallulah's way - and held his breath waiting to see how Philip responded.
If he responded at all.
Philip grunted, startled, as Tallulah landed in his lap. Tail wagging madly; she immediately stood to wash his face with puppy kisses. He pulled away, but at the same time turned her about with both hands clasping her baby-round middle, tucking her into the crook of his arm just as he had done earlier. Bending slightly, eyes closed, he nuzzled the top of her head, eliciting a delighted yip.
The little dog's vivid, uncomplicated life force was like a hit of pure oxygen. Already regaining some of his equilibrium amid Cory's buoyant energy, Philip set Tallulah down on the floor, and she immediately began chasing fireflies along the terrace. Turning to the waiting immortal, he was once again held by the look in the man's eyes. "Unless you had some other idea?" he ventured at last.
As Gabriel winced, wondering if he should have held onto Tallulah better and not let her bound into Philip's lap, he thought about what Cory had said. He liked to show initiative. Conscious assistance was the most rewarding form of service and it helped to be able to know what was the best thing to do. He sent a message along the link to the other Macs, aware that Skip and his personnel were gone but knowing that there had to be some house staff left who could help. The response came from a Mac inside the compound. It only took a moment for them to complete their exchange.
Gabriel leaned forward and said, "There is a room for you, Philip. We have set it aside. There is also one for you, Cory."
Philip looked up at the voice, really registering the newcomer for the first time. This one looked young, and had been standing uneasily some distance away. True, his perceptions had been somewhat scattered, and the buzz Cory was emanating was quite strong, but even so... Picking up the muted presence now, he realized it was a Mac 27. Not quite the same as the others Philip had encountered so far, though...and his face, his entire posture, bespoke the pangs of a first youthful infatuation every time he regarded Cory. /So that's how it is, huh...?/
Glancing at Cory, he murmured, "I guess that answers my question," before turning back to the android with an attempt at a smile. "Thank you, that's...very thoughtful."
Cory frowned in thought. Whatever was going on with Philip - and he had NO idea what that might be - he really had no other ideas. Help from Methos seemed a distant possibility. Whatever had happened between the old man and Philip had obviously left an indelible impression on Philip's psyche. Knowing how well Methos reacted to perceived rejection; Cory figured that, for now, he'd best try to get to the bottom of this on his own.
"What you need most of all right now is sleep, my friend," he said firmly.
Just then, they heard an unmistakable voice calling the errant pup back from her explorations, and their attention shifted as Tallulah came barreling up to greet Beau and Matthew. Philip could feel the brief spike of amusement, exasperation and faint relief from Cory, and as the immortal moved to sit beside him on the chaise he did his best to quell the deep uneasiness that continued to haunt him...
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Beau turned to Matthew and indicated with a nod that he was going out into the corridor. Matthew shrugged and followed. As they stepped out of the infirmary, Beau started in the direction Cory and Gabriel had taken earlier.
"Ah have to go get Tallulah," Beau announced. "'Sides, whatever's goin' on with that guy an' his tentacle, I've seen enough."
They came out onto the terrace and Beau called Tallulah to him. Delighted to see him, she ran over and wiggled happily as he picked her up. Dog in hand, Beau viewed the situation. Concluded quickly that Philip and Cory didn't need any company right he turned to head back in.
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"Gabriel," Beau said congenially. "Would you mind walkin' along with us? I need to talk to you about somethin'."
Gabriel could hardly bear to take himself from Cory's side but he could understand both Beau's hint to leave the two alone, and the fact that Beau wanted to speak with him. Still, he tried to analyze the near-physical pain that clenched within him as he accompanied Beau and Matthew back inside. He threw a last glance over his shoulder at Cory and Philip before the doors closed.
Looking both relieved and disappointed at the same time, Gabriel nodded and hurried over to walk with Beau and Matthew.
Once everyone had left, Cory leaned closer to Philip. "Come on, Philip, let me help you to your room," he said in a low voice. "Things will look better after a little sleep - or at least they always do for me."
The intense jolt he felt as Cory spoke softly in his ear surprised Philip. It wasn't merely the sudden closeness of the man's vibrant aura of energy. It was the sudden closeness of the man. How many times had he himself murmured so persuasively, so intimately -- in, literally, this same voice? And it had seldom ever meant anything at all. Yet, even so aware that he should know better, he found himself responding...
Rising, Cory helped Philip to his feet and supported the other man's hesitant steps as they located their rooms. Cory opened a door, choosing one of the adjacent rooms at random and led Philip inside.
He reached out a hand and let Cory help him up, grateful that his sharp intake of breath could simply be attributed to effort. Further grateful that the shockwave of desire that passed through him at the touch, leaving him momentarily dazed, was apparently merely being taken as evidence of exhaustion. Whether because Cory couldn't sense it, or because he chose not to acknowledge it... Shit. Why here, why him, why now? The thought prompted an unaccustomed sting of regret, but Philip knew he would simply have to content himself with this brief contact. Once they got back inside they'd get on with their lives... It would be for the best, all around. It would.
As Philip stood inside of the doorway, looking pretty lost, Cory searched his mind for something to do - helping Philip actually get ready for bed seemed a bit... well, fraught with possible complications, considering the carefully constructed shields and rather shaky command of said shields at the moment.
"Should I go find you a little something to eat while you get ready for bed?" He offered hesitantly. "You probably haven't eaten in a while."
Preoccupied with giving the room a cursory once-over from where he stood, Philip didn't respond immediately. He was tired, true. The unexpectedly strong emotions, and that mysterious hit-and-run onslaught of vivid imagery, had taken a surprising amount out of him. Cory and Tallulah had restored him somewhat, however, so it wasn't as bad as it might have been. As for the tension he was feeling -- well, he'd been twitchy since he got here. It was just the weariness making it seem so much worse, that was all. Had to be. By morning, with this place in the rearview, things would look a lot different.
Cory did sound rather concerned about his well-being, but best not to examine that too closely -- the immortal was obviously also anxious to get back to that adoring young Mac, and in a few more hours Philip would be long gone. Still, it wouldn't hurt to stay close to Cory's energy for a few more minutes, would it? Just long enough to get to the dining room and get some provisions to take with him, for tonight and to save time getting under way in the morning. Besides, it was entirely likely that once Cory was back with his friend, he'd forget to bring anything back, anyway...
Merely shrugging, Philip turned to him, drawn again in spite of himself by the look that passed through Cory's eyes as Philip's hands came to rest lightly on his shoulders. "Cory...I appreciate this. But I'm not an invalid, okay?" Stepping away before the moment became too tempting, too awkward, Philip offered a smile. "What I am is hungry -- you're right about that. So I'll just go along with you...if you don't mind?"
Letting the lack of a reply suffice as agreement, Philip swept an 'after you' gesture to Cory and (after a quick glance at the discreet number plate on the closed door, so he could locate it when coming back alone with his supplies) set off beside him down the hall.
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