Game Chapter 63

The Game 63

Edited by Karen Leigh

"Take your time, Luke. There's no rush." Thinking about what he'd witnessed between One, Sypher and David, Ryan added, "Unless I'm mistaken, we'll all be pressed into some duty or another shortly, anyway."

Watching Luke closely, Ryan ventured, "There was some talk a while back about you getting training as a bodyguard for me. What do you think of that?"

With a sigh and a rueful smile, he muttered, "I think they might've re-evaluated me since then ... and downgraded me. But we should be able to get assigned together. We ... ah ...," Ryan's mind turned to memories of when he and Luke had first met David. "We've worked together before."

"Does that make sense to you?"

Luke had been watching intently as Ryan spoke, hoping that something he said would spark another memory, but nothing happened. "Yes," he finally said, "it makes sense to me, Ryan. I believe everything you say to me and I trust you. It doesn't matter that I don't remember any of it. If you say that we worked together, then we worked together. And if you wish for me to be your bodyguard, I wish that as well."

He tilted his head, frowning as he struggled to force another memory from his damaged system. Wanting to know more about Ryan and what they'd done together before whatever had caused his memory loss was beginning to frustrate him.

"Ryan," he said tentatively, "would it be too much trouble to ask you how you expect me to act? I feel as if I should be behaving in a certain way, but I don't know what it is. I also feel that I should be pleasing you somehow." He narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure you're not my owner?"

It was uncanny how Luke's -- though it was difficult to think of him as Luke at the moment -- thoughts mirrored his own in a fun house sort of way. He didn't know how to act around this new Luke, and it was clear that the android had no particular expectations vis a vis him. He wanted to protect Luke but wasn't sure how.

Realizing that he was getting nowhere fast in trying to sort out his feelings, Ryan answered the question with which he felt most comfortable. "No, Luke. I mean, yes, I'm sure that I'm not your owner. I don't want to own you. I want--."

Stopping abruptly, Ryan knew he had to think of something to say other than "to hold you." How the hell could he say that to someone he ...didn't know?

Forcing a smile, he murmured, "I want to get to know you again."

"I would like that too, Ryan," Luke said, automatically reaching for Ryan's hand then jerking back. "I'm sorry," he said quickly, embarrassed, "I think there may be something wrong with my motor functions. Just because we share a bed doesn't mean I can hold your hand." He lowered his head, his embarrassment increasing the more he spoke. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I wish you didn't have to get to know me again. I wish I could remember you being my friend." He felt moisture begin to fill his eyes and knew that he was crying, though he wasn't sure why. "I feel as if I'm disappointing you," he sniffed.

Ryan had never seen another individual look so sad. Smiling in an effort to encourage, he reached for Luke's hand, took it and entwined his fingers with the android's. "There's nothing wrong with your motor functions. And I'm not disappointed. Disconcerted maybe. A little sad. But not disappointed. How could I be? Your memory loss isn't your fault."

Harkening back, Ryan chuckled. "And I can't remember if we held hands like this before either. So you aren't the only one."

With a last supportive squeeze of Luke's hand, Ryan let go and asked, "You want to stay here for a while or go out and see if anything else jogs your memory?"

Impulsively, Luke reached out to pull Ryan into a tight, unapologetic hug.

Ryan grunted softly as Luke grabbed him. It was almost a minute later when he realized he had a broad, quite possibly stupid grin on his face.

Luke didn't know exactly why it felt so right to do it, but he sighed and held on for a few moments before speaking. "Thank you," he said softly, his sadness lifting a little. "Thank you for helping me, for wanting to help me."

"Believe it, Luke," Ryan whispered. "I really do want to help you." Silently, he added, I miss you.

Luke pulled back slowly. "As for what I want to do now..." Furrowing his brow, he weighed the options. He very much wanted to be alone with Ryan in the hopes that he could find out more about their relationship before his memory loss. But he also wanted to see more of the strange place he found himself. Besides, he reasoned, there was nothing that said Ryan couldn't take him around and talk to him at the same time.

"I would like to see if anything jogs my memory," he nodded finally. "Being in here with you helped me remember something for a moment, Ryan. Perhaps that could happen again if you take me to another room." He paused, tilting his head as he felt a slight buzz in his head, almost as if a connection was trying to be established. As quickly as it started, it was gone.

Ryan's bland affirmative response went unspoken as he watched Luke zone out on him again. He didn't like it until he saw the crestfallen expression that flitted over Luke's face ever so briefly before a neutral mask descended.

The disconnection made Luke feel useless and discouraged again, but he did his best to conceal what he was feeling. He didn't want to continue bothering Ryan with things as trivial as his own inadequacies and insecurities. Fixing a smile on his face, he thought of an activity they could do that would enable him to feel stronger and that would allow the opportunity for them to talk.

"I would like to obtain some fuel, if you don't mind, Ryan."

That sounded good. "Sure," Ryan murmured. "I could use some food."

When Luke fell into step beside him, Ryan sheepishly admitted, "And that's one of the few other rooms in the compound that I know you've been to."

"Is that because you and I like to spend a lot of time in our room, Ryan?"

Blushing slightly, Ryan rushed to explain, "I ... I was hurt when we returned from our assignment, so I ... well, we stayed pretty close to our room so that I could ... we could ... um ... I could ... ah ...heal."

Luke frowned at the discomfort he detected in Ryan's voice. He knew enough to recognize embarrassment when he heard it and he didn't like the fact that he had made his friend uncomfortable somehow. He strained to find an explanation somewhere in what he was beginning to think of as his utterly useless brain. He was aware that he could not access some of his standard programs and wondered if one of them would reveal why there had been a distinct rise in Ryan's body temperature as he spoke of the room they shared. If the room had been used for their coupling, he was sure Ryan would have mentioned that.

--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--[o]--

On to Game page 64