Best Friends

by Jami Wilsen

Rated: slash, A

Pairing: David/Frank

Summary: Sometime after the film "The Raffle". David married Margot. Frank's creative genius continues to successfully generate more brilliant ideas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Margot was perched on the edge of Frank's desk, her legs crossed. She was waiting for him to get off the phone.

He excitedly turned to her, covering the mouthpiece with one hand. "They want us to attend their exhibition as guests of honor!"

"That's wonderful!" She smiled at him; a happy and bubbly Frank was a joy to see. His high spirits were always infectious.

"Ah, hold on Yes? Why, certainly. Okay. Yeah, that's great. Okay. We'll see you there! Looking forward to it. Goodbye." He put the phone down. "They want to showcase some of our work. Boy, David is going to have a ball with this one." He turned to scribble some notes on the pad before him.

She waited. "Frank? Can I talk to you for a second?"

He looked up at her tone of voice. "Sure. What is it?" He noticed her expression; she was wondering how to start. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. It's - nothing bad. Well, not really. I just - I wanted to talk with you about David, that's all. If you have a minute. I'm on lunch and, well, I really need to talk to you."

"Of course." He dropped his pen and folded his arms, leaning his elbows on the desk before him, giving her his full attention.

She looked down, smoothing her skirt with one hand, leaning the other on the desk.

"Is everything alright between the two of you?" he asked, gently.

"Oh, yes. We're fine," she assured him, a little too hurriedly. "It's not that. It's, well, he talks in his sleep. God," she said, giving a little self-conscious laugh, "he'd never forgive me if he knew I was telling anyone this, even you. Well, especially you, now, I guess. If he knew, that is. I mean, he -"

"You haven't told him?" Frank regarded her curiously, with raised eyebrows. "He doesn't know that he does?"

She shook her head; her pretty mane of dark curls not hiding her obvious anxiety.

"Listen, Margot, maybe you should let him -"

"No," she held up her hand, "no. I need to hear what you think. Please, Frank? I don't want to make a big deal of it if it's nothing. I need your advice before I bring it up. You know how he can be. Especially with things that he feels places him at a disadvantage. I'm sure he'd tell me I'm wrong. And I might be wrong."

Frank considered this, concerned for her but trusting her judgment. "Alright."

She took a breath. "We're great together, we really are. Apart from his sometimes immature behavior, as you well know." She grinned at him, and he couldn't help returning it. It was true, they both tolerated David's moods that oscillated dangerously between exhilarated excitement when things went well and paranoid panic when things looked dicey. "He loves me, I know he does. He's always very open about it, very sweet. But," she stopped.

Frank reached out a hand and placed it on her arm, comfortingly. "Is he dreaming about another woman? Or just others, in general? You know no one can help that. He always did have an eye for beauty."

She smiled at him. "Oh, I know that; not as refined as yours, but yes. No, this is different. Can - can I ask you something?" Her voice lowered conspiratorially, as if worried that someone might overhear despite the fact his door was closed.

"Sure." He found himself leaning closer.

"David knows about you, right? I mean, you told him, last year. Back during the raffle. Has he acted differently with you, at all? Has he treated you any differently?"

Frank frowned slightly, looking upwards, thinking. And shook his head. "No, not really. If anything, he's been more respectful. He takes me more seriously now. I guess because he realized he'd taken me for granted in some ways. And that he didn't know me as well as he thought."

She nodded. "I've noticed that, too. But I mean, has he ever given you any signs that he feels uncomfortable with it - with you? Have you two talked, at all?"

He paused. "No. He hasn't mentioned it. As for being uncomfortable - I don't think so. Apart from not being so close. I mean, it's only natural; he's not as carefree, he's not as open with me as he used to be. I expected that, though; it was inevitable. He's had to adjust, you know?"

"I do, I do. I just - I don't think he's handling it as well as he appears. I think he's suppressed it. Sort of," she made a little wavy gesture with her fingers in the air, "put it away neatly in a box and not looked at it since. It's inconvenient for him to spend too long thinking about it." She shot him a look. "Ever."

Frank shrugged and sat back in his seat. "Like I said, I think that's only natural. He might feel threatened by it."

Margot tilted her head, regarding him. "You are too good a friend. You're far too understanding. He doesn't really deserve you, you know."

"The way I see it, he's my friend. Friends should stick together, support each other. And he does - we do. I'm not worried about him. Let him work it out."

Margot looked down with a slight twist to her smile. "Well, he's said your name aloud in his sleep a few times. It's - it's happened a bit more frequently, lately. I've asked him what he's dreaming and everything, to give him an opening, but he always seems to genuinely not know what I'm talking about. I think he has issues." She drew in a deeper breath. "About you. Specifically."

Frank wrinkled his brow. "What are you trying to say?"

Margot's voice was more insistent. "I think he's in love with you, Frank."

Frank stared at her, a little bemused. "We've been friends, like, forever. He's never felt that way about me - I should know; believe me, I'd be able to tell. And he's crazy about you. I think you're overreacting. Are you sure everything's fine between the two of you? That he's not projecting, or that you aren't?"

She shook her head. "No. Look, I care about him. I love him. Deeply. I can tell that there's something buried there that he won't face. And I know it's about you. He really likes you. He looks up to you. We both know that. You're flamboyant, energetic you're the perfect foil for him. He's got that conservative streak that worries about appearances. The two of you together make a wonderful team. But I think - I think he's a little afraid now, too. He's afraid that you'll mistake something he says or get the wrong idea from the way he acts with you that will make you think that that he -"

"Likes me in `that way'?" Frank finished for her, stressing it knowingly. He sighed. "I thought everything was okay. I thought he dealt with it. Maybe you're right. Maybe I've just been avoiding it. We both have. I mean, I'm used to it; I never felt it was necessary to tell him before. I've just been carrying on as normal." He looked off into space, thinking.

Margot gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't mean to upset you. I really didn't. Have I meddled, here? Maybe I should stay out from between you two."

"No, Margot," he said, firmly. "You're right. I should accept the responsibility of having brought it out in the first place. He would have carried on quite happily oblivious if I hadn't told him to begin with. I'll find the right time to talk with him, okay?"

She gave him a sad little smile. "You sure? I mean, I'd hate to think that I've started something here, that might mean the end of a beautiful friendship."

He looked up at her, his face clear. "If it's real, then it'll survive, won't it?"

"I guess you're right." She lifted her eyebrows. "Do you want me to do anything?"

He shook his head. "Just leave it. Don't worry, I'll get back to you. And Margot?"

She swung her legs down, standing beside the desk, smoothing down her skirt once more. "Yeah, Frank?"

"Thanks. I owe it to him to at least see it through. As his friend."

She drew a breath. "See, I knew you'd think that. That's why I brought it to you." She smiled at him, a little more relieved. "I'll go ahead and go." She pointed at the door, catching his eye as he nodded at her.

He smiled at her as she left. And thoughtfully stared at the door after she left. He sat there for a little while. Thinking. Remembering.

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

Frank watched as the ball took to the sky. "Not bad," he said, musingly.

"Not *bad*?" David grinned at him. "I am the *master*, today."

"You think so?" Frank gave him a tolerant smile. And settled down to swing, his golf club steady. He took his shot, and then turned to grin back at him. "You see? I'll give you a run for your money."

It was a beautiful day. The sun was, well, *peeking* behind white clouds. Perfect for golf. Frank wondered if he wanted to bring this up now. No time like the present, I guess, he thought. As they moved down the green, Frank said nonchalantly, "So, how are things with you and Margot?"

David gave him a quizzical look. "Fine... as ever. Why?"

Frank sniffed. "Just wondering. You've seemed a little different to me. I couldn't help wondering if things were okay."

David's brow wrinkled. "Why? What are you talking about?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. You just seem different. I didn't notice it before, but - I realized you don't talk to me the same way that you used to." He cast a glance over at David as they walked down to where their golf balls had landed.

"What do you mean?"

"You remember back when we started that raffle, and I went to find you before Margot's plane left?"

David's buoyant state deflated somewhat. "Yeah. So?" Impressions he'd shelved in the past lurched out at him. He wasn't sure he was happy with this. But the memory of the turbulence he'd been in at the time, and Frank's support although they'd been at odds on the waterfront jettyhis 'secret' place, the cold wind blowing him from inside and out as he realized Margot was probably lost to him. And Frank coming out to him. He wasn't sure but he felt slightly resentful that Frank would choose that moment for that kind of revelation. Still, their friendship had survived; if it wasn't founded on honesty then what was the point? It had been months - why was he bringing this up now?

Frank shrugged. "I'm just wondering if we're still okay."

"Of course. Why wouldn't we be?" But this time, David didn't look him in the eye. In fact, he actively avoided it.

Frank sighed to himself, thoughtfully. Margot was right. "It's alright, forget it."

"Forget it? Forget what?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." Frank looked placid and calm.

David looked puzzled. "Are you kidding? Come on, Frank. What is this?"

"It's nothing, really. Forget I said anything." And he carried on. He didn't seem upset. He seemed as casual and collected as usual.

David gave him a strange look and shrugged. But it seemed to him though that he had to try too hard for the rest of the game to keep the conversation light. And not because of anything Frank was saying. Because of something inside him that seemed to tell him he'd just missed something important. Again.

That was one of the things Frank excelled at that he wished he had. A knack for picking up the subtle little obvious signs of things and being able to interpret them. Things tended to go right over his head. Like matters of the heart. He frowned to himself.

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

So, how's it going?" Margot asked Frank. She was in his office, yet another morning. Yet another long morning filled with busy people coming and going. Success was enough to keep anyone out of trouble. Yet, booming business and successful campaigns didn't seem to keep the ideas from percolating around in Frank's brain. He was still consistently producing hare-brained but lucrative ideas. Which suited them all just fine; except for David who considered one of his major roles in the company to actually be one of damage control. It was a running joke.

Frank caught her meaning though, from her tone of voice. She was smiling at him, impishly. He shook his head. "I haven't been able to find a way to bring it up without being obvious about it. And you're right; it doesn't seem like he wants to talk about it. Every time I make an opening, he acts like it isn't happening. But I have to say, you were right."

She regarded with pursed lips and then said, "Well, I thought this would happen. See, he's still not sleeping well. More than ever. Thrashing about and stuff. I nearly got up to sleep on the couch the other night. I think he's refusing to let himself admit it. And I'm kind of worried about him. I think he thinks that he'll lose me if he does. And that he'll lose you if he doesn't. Which is why it's a problem for him, and it's all going on underneath the surface. Poor thing; he thinks I'll leave him if he tries to bring this out into the open with you."

Frank raised a brow. "Wouldn't you? I mean, come on, Margot! He went through quite a lot; he had to change, in order to see what he was missing, with you. Now he has to worry about being able to keep you. He doesn't dare look sideways at another woman, he's so afraid you'll leave him over that. Then bring out the fact that his best friend, me, happens to be gay. I'm competition suddenly. And you already know that I would never do that to you."

She pulled a face. "For heaven's sake, I'm not an ogre. You're both silly; I'm very open- minded. Possibly more so than either of you. I just know that I want to avoid getting hurt, being exploited. And besides, I knew what he was like when I married him. I didn't go into this with my eyes closed. You know that more than anyone else. We've known each other for a long time." She raised a hand at Frank's beginnings of a protest. "He's in love with you, Frank. He always was, only he didn't want to see it. He admires you, and looks up to you. He's loved you far longer than he's loved me. It's just a different love, that's all."

Frank looked at her sadly. "I was hoping you wouldn't say that. You two are a great couple, you're really good together. If you think that I want to be the one to tear it apart - "

Margot shook her head at him, impatiently. "Frank, please. I'm not suggesting that I'm going to do anything, here. Don't worry. But he won't talk to me about it, he thinks I won't understand. He needs you; he needs to be able to talk about it. And if things progress further than that, well, so be it. I don't want to end up losing him because I'm keeping hold of him too tightly."

"Margot, that may be a little too pragmatic of you, don't you think?" Frank's query was matter- of-fact. He really didn't want to beat around the bush. "Sex doesn't solve problems like these, and if it's a question of love then isn't that what *you're* there for?"

"I don't think so. You care about him, I know you do. He needs your help. Whatever happens, I want you to know that I'm okay; I'm not worried that he'll hurt me. Or that you'll take him from me. We can both be adults about this. If anything, I took him from you."

He shook his head adamantly. "No, you didn't. And I'm not going to argue about it; I won't fight over him. He already made his choice."

"I know. But he's ignoring one that he made a long time ago, and that's what I'm trying to get *you* to see, Frank!" Margot answered, earnestly. "Our hearts are big enough for everyone; I love you, too. I don't have a problem with you, or with him. But I hate to see him tearing himself apart inside over it. And I know you love him. You still do. You can't suppress it either. If I say anything he'll take it the wrong way. Frank You *have* to talk with him. And get him to see it, see his feelings. Come on, you know he's always had a problem with that. He's brilliant; except when it comes to understanding how these things work. He's not adept at it."

Frank lifted his eyes to the ceiling. "Is anyone? I thought I understood *you*, until now."

She patted him on the shoulder. "Trust me, Frank. He's not going anywhere. Especially if we're working together. When we team up, he doesn't stand a chance. And you know it." She smiled, gently. "Besides, *you* haven't had to listen to him mumbling your name in his sleep."

Frank almost blushed, taken aback. "I've never felt like that for him. And I've never wanted to give him a reason to think that I did."

"Come on, Frank!" she cajoled, "You can't tell me you haven't noticed how cute he is. He's an attractive guy. I know you never wanted to alienate him but - "

"Margot, are you trying to play go-between, now?" he asked, surprised.

"No, I understand the need for things to be brought out into the open and I want to get this cleared up between you two. Otherwise it will tear all three of us away from each other and I don't want that. As long as you and I share an understanding, we'll all be fine."

He shook his head again, doubtfully. "I don't know. I sure hope you know what you're doing. I agree that without us, he'd never work it out. But I value our friendship more than to destroy it over an unnecessary emotional conflict."

"Well, David's the one with the conflict. And he's subconsciously asking us to help him. I think we owe it to ourselves as well as to him, don't you?"

He threw his hands up. "Okay, whatever you say, Margot. I can't argue with the logic of a woman's heart."

"That's better." She beamed at him, patting him again.

"You'd better be right about this," he said, his doubt still evident.

Her eyes twinkled. "I am. Unless *you* mind sharing. Which I didn't think you did."

He gave her a look askance. "I don't. And you knew that. Which is why you're getting me involved, right?"

"You got yourself involved. Now come on, let's make plans. There's that exhibition in Chicago. I'm booking the flights, the accommodation, the cabs. Leave all that to me." She winked.

Frank looked upwards and shook his head at her mischief, hoping that she was right. Then again, maybe everything was still just a matter of timing. Even this.

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

A week later, at the end of the first day of the exhibition in Chicago

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

The hotel dcor was sumptuous, tasteful. Comfortable, even. Cream and burgundy, with gold decorations, tiny entwined crystals everywhere but without being gaudy. Very high ceilings. Frank nodded in satisfaction. He liked it.

Beside him, David was staring off into space without even seeing the luxury surrounding them. His head was filled with contacts, considerations, phone numbers and possible new accounts.

At reception, the concierge took their names. Then with a little scowl, he addressed them apologetically. "I'm sorry, sirs, I'm not sure how this happened. But it appears as though we are fully-booked. With this conference, all our rooms were reserved very quickly, very early on for this week." He took in David's glower and swallowed. Lake & Palmer were not to be treated lightly, or so he'd been advised. They were successful and money talks. Not like the usual moneybaggers, either. They had taste.

He turned and rechecked the register as well as the reservations list. "I suspect your reservations were made too close to the date; I think they were put on the waiting list. There are no more single rooms left. But," he quickly whipped out a large book and regarded it, "there is a suite on the top floor which is free. We can give it to you for only a small surcharge more, for the inconvenience. Shall I have your things sent up there?"

"What?" David looked scandalized. "B-but Margot would have booked us weeks ago - maybe there's a mistake"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we simply don't have anything else available -"

"This is - just -" David exhaled, impatiently. "Are you sure *you* haven't made a mistake? Check it again, 'Lake & Palmer'."

The concierge looked to Frank almost as if for help.

Frank nodded. "We'll take it. Have our bags sent up, alright?"

The concierge looked relieved. "Certainly, sir."

David was still muttering. "I can't *believe* this. It's been a long day, having to deal with that whining, complaining executive and that *woman* too. And now this."

Frank wondered what Margot had been up to. He wouldn't even put it past her to have made some sort of arrangement with the concierge, behind the scenes. He sighed, hoping she knew what she was doing. And then thought, of course she does. She did it deliberately, providing the situation to give them the opportunity they needed.

In the elevator, David said, "Jesus, what was Margot thinking, to leave it so late?! She *knew* about this ages ago."

He looked so disgruntled and put out, so much that Frank suddenly found himself recalling that fatal moment on the jetty when he'd given a very distraught David a hug. After having made up, after coming out to him, after giving him a quarter to try to call Margot and beg her not to leave He felt the urge to put his arms around the younger man.

He suddenly felt low. His conscience bothered him. Like he'd conspired against his friend with his own wife in a way that felt almost sordid. But Margot had been so sure And then he realized he was just wallowing in unnecessary worry. That one hug had been a once and only thing; no matter that it hadn't meant the same to both of them. The sympathy and support he'd felt at the time had been borne of a lasting tenderness and affection, which they shared. But David had been confused, in shock over Margot's leaving, just discovering he loved her and entirely dependent on Frank's comfort as a friend. Whereas Frank, if he were honest deep-down, had meant it as a final gesture, an offering of support to his dearest friend in the only way he could after coming out to him. Knowing all the while that it would change things. David had been so confused and raw at the time. Needing a friend like he'd never needed him before. Frank reminded himself that he needed to be practical now, too. Engage with what was at hand.

"You could always call her on the mobile and ask her what happened," suggested Frank. "Won't you be talking to her later, anyway?"

"Yeah. Sorry. I'm just tired, you know? It's yet *another* problem to have to deal with." And it was true, David did look tired.

Frank looked away. He didn't want to be surreptitiously admiring David's business attire, Mr Successful clad in expense that suited him all too well. To be honest, it was all different now. It had only ever been a passing thought. Now it was an actual desire. And of course was impossible; there was no way David would ever want *him*.

He realized Margot was right. He'd never wanted to jeopardize their friendship but there had always been something in him that was drawn to the handsome young man. Much younger, Frank thought suddenly, wondering that he'd always regarded him as an equal, because of his talent, his creative ability. He'd recognized a kindred spirit. David's creative vision was undeniable. He just lacked the faith to believe fully in his own fire. He always did have a problem with giving up too easily, before the race was run.

And found himself once more remembering that hug. It would be forever burnt into his memory: the cold bite of the wind, the smell of the water and clouds, the grey of the sky, the mussed darker hair of the younger man in his coat as they embraced. David holding onto him as though seeking strength and forgiveness for having nearly pushed away both people he loved most dearly in the whole world; Frank bestowing sympathetic care and wisdom yet again. It had taken both he and Margot in their individual ways to remind David where his heart was again. He wondered if David would suspect that Margot had cleverly maneuvered them into this situation.

But when they reached the room even David appeared to lighten up. The rooms were beautifully decorated. "God, this is swank!" he exclaimed. He turned a grin on Frank suddenly. "You know, this is probably a better suite than any of the singles, anyway."

Frank couldn't help a feeling of relief make the worry give way inside. He realized that was one thing he'd never got used to: David's mercurial mood swings.

David threw himself backwards onto the king-sized bed, bouncing on the firm surface with a grin. "Not bad."

Frank sat down in one of the rich armchairs. "Very nice."

David then bounded off the bed and went to investigate the en suite bathroom. "It's great!" came the enthusiastic call.

"Room service? What shall we have for dinner?" Frank called.

David peered around the corner of the open door, in the process of removing his shoes and socks. "I'm going to have a shower and test this baby out. Go ahead and order for me. I trust your judgment." He grinned and then disappeared.

Frank found himself fighting the impulse to follow him into the bathroom and and what? Watch? Make a move? Declare his undying 'friendship' was based on more than respect and mutual fondness? He shook himself. How silly. He was letting Margot's suggestions undermine his composure.

But filet mignon, salmon mousse, good wine and asparagus can do wonderful things for one's state of mind. And Frank was even able to mostly ignore the way David's dark hair curled wetly and his skin glowed with renewed energy after his showering away the day's trials. Mostly. He was concerned however that he couldn't avoid noticing his brilliant smile. David had a beautiful smile. One that had charmed so many already. And now, given the circumstances and the history, Frank was no longer immune.

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

Finally, when they had polished off the excellent fare, he said, "I'm going out on the balcony. Mind if I smoke?"

"I'll join you."

The view overlooked the gardens and the city beyond, small bright lights twinkling in the dark. They stood there, leaning on the balustrade in a companionable silence breaking it only with the passing odd comment or remark.

Oh well, Frank sighed to himself. Enough pretending. Casually, he asked, "You okay sharing the bed?" He took another drag of his cigarette, watching the light of Venus on the horizon shimmer in the atmosphere.

"Yeah, sure," David replied, absently.

"Because I could always sleep in the chair."

David threw him a sardonic look. "It's king-sized," David said dryly.

Frank shrugged. "I just thought you'd be more comfortable without me being there." He put out the stub and passed through the glass doors. David thoughtfully remained out a bit longer, finishing his. Then he came back inside, sliding the doors behind him, pulling the curtain with a slight frown.

"Frank, what's going on?" he queried, standing with his arms folded.

"With what?" Frank replied, guilelessly.

"There's always some kind of nuance I'm missing," David complained. "Why should I have a problem with sharing the bed? Do *you* have a problem with it?." he trailed off, a sudden realization dawning.

Frank regarded him without artifice. "You have a long-standing reputation as a womanizer, David. Now you're married. Lifelong commitment - not that I don't think you can do it. But I know you. You've never been one to deal with something long-term. What we have here is different - we've always been friends, and lately you've been ignoring the fact that I'm different than you. Well, ever since I told you, actually."

"Oh, god. Now you - " David paused, miserably. "You think I can't be your friend because of this, right? That I can't handle it."

Frank cocked his head to the side and regarded him thoughtfully. "I think you're afraid that if you feel anything for me now, it's automatically wrong because of what you know about me. But you didn't know before; our friendship existed just fine. Why should it change now?"

"That," David held up a finger, "is *precisely* what I thought when you first told me. I haven't had a problem with it. But Jesus, Frank, you can't expect me to not change the way I think about-"

Frank interrupted him. "Have I ever come on to you? Have I ever made you feel uncomfortable around me? Even after I told you?"

David stopped, reflecting. "No, never."

Frank shrugged. "Then there's no reason why anything should change. I'm just questioning if something has. Because you obviously find it difficult to talk about."

David flopped back in the big chair, sighing, "I just don't see why we need to talk about it at all. Why is it an issue?"

"Because you've changed. You're treating me differently, David. You're acting like I'm a threat; that I make you uncomfortable now. And I didn't tell you about myself to jeopardize our friendship. I told you because I thought you needed to see that there were things you had never considered. That maybe you were taking me for granted. The same way you were of Margot."

David shook his head, as if lost. "So, what, you're saying that you think I can't deal with it, right?"

"That I'm" Frank deliberately trailed off, nodding slightly.

David looked askance at him. "Yeah."

"Gay. That I'm gay. See? You can't even say it." Frank was calm.

David scowled, frustrated. And became immediately self-consciously aware that at that moment he really couldn't look at him, either.

"Let me ask you this: are you ashamed - on whatever level, no matter how trivial it might seem - of being seen with me? Of being associated with me?"

"No! No, of course not." David blurted out, a little too quickly. He couldn't help feeling disgruntled at this. And just a little hurt that Frank would suspect it of him. But deep down, he knew that it was a valid question and more than pertinent.

"Look, David, I'm not going to lie to you. And I'm not going to hide what I am. I'd have to be blind not to notice you, or find you attractive. But it's like I said before, you're my best friend and I'd be stupid to throw that away. I didn't want you to feel we couldn't be friends. And I certainly wouldn't ever do anything to make you feel uncomfortable with me. I can't change for you, but I can still be the way I always have."

David nodded in appreciation of what he was saying. "I get it. I do. Look, I really don't have a problem with it - with you. I don't." He hated that his voice sounded like he was trying to convince himself, though.

"Okay. That's good. Me, neither." Frank brightened. "So, shall we check what channels we can get?"

David smiled, relieved. "Sure."

The rest of the evening was actually free of tension; it was as if just going over it had helped. Frank thought everything was fine. And he was grateful that Margot had given them this chance to sort things out.

It was remarkably stress-free and normal, turning out the light, climbing into bed under the covers. And they lay there in the dark, each quiet with their own considerings.

Time passed. David quickly discovered though that there were several things telling against his being able to find sleep. First, it was a hotel and no matter how sumptuous the surroundings or the covers, it was *not* his own bed. Secondly, he was wired now even though he was tired. And lastly, he was aware of the fact that Frank lay a few inches away from him, no more able to ignore it than if he was sharing the bed with a tiger or a python or or another man. That - was what it was.

He swallowed in the dark, still and tense. Musings swirled through his thoughts; he wondered if Frank was right, that he *was* uncomfortable with him now. His eyes narrowed in the dark of the room, sightless as he was. He was uncomfortable with himself, not Frank, and how he felt about him. He had never considered it before Frank's revelation on the dock. And he'd been unable to process it at the time, either. Now he knew that he did have a problem. Because he'd been unable to stop wondering if Frank *did* think of him - 'that way'. And what it would be like. And what Margot would say. Which meant - Oh god

He closed his eyes, wondering if he could sleep. Knowing that it was *not* going to go away. Still tense, he realized he was trying not to breathe aloud. Did he wish something would happen? Did he want it to? He bit his lip. Stay calm, keep still. Don't - panic. His eyes blinked in the dark.

He could deal with this. There was no shame in thinking about it. In fact, *not* thinking about it and working through it was what was causing the rift between them. Okay, for the sake of friendship. He stopped at that. There was the problem, right there. He didn't want to come on to Frank for the sake of 'experimentation' just because Frank conveniently happened to like other men Jesus, that would be taking advantage of him. He also didn't want to initiate anything that might require follow-through or lead to further things.

He'd never looked at Frank that way, before. Ever. He knew that Frank regarded him as his best friend and he didn't want that to change. And he was painfully aware that they had to resolve this. He loved Frank, and although it was different than the love he had for Margot, he knew it was unavoidable now that he knew about Frank, to consider what it would be like. He'd hardly been unaware that other men had noticed him, as well as the frequent women who'd fallen for him. He had never been that way inclined. Maybe it was different this time because they *did* share so much, and had such a deep friendship. It had never been a physical attraction, only one based on the way they just seemed to get along with each other so well.

Sure, there was love here. It just hadn't been what either of them had wanted. Was it?

But now he had to question if Frank was telling him the whole truth. Had he never really *wanted* him? What was it he had said on the dock that day? Frank had never told him because he thought David wouldn't want to be his friend if he knew? Hm. That was a pretty interesting declaration. He wondered why he hadn't thought about it before.

Gradually, David grew aware of Frank's similar position; he wasn't sleeping either and was absolutely still. He suspected he was just as mentally active. He cautiously whispered, "Frank? Hey, you awake?"

"What is it?" His reply was devoid of tension, which actually helped.

David closed his eyes before answering. He took a breath. "Why would you think I wouldn't be your friend if I knew, before? Why did you tell me *then*, in my secret place?"

Frank chuckled. "Well, that took a long time, didn't it? I've been expecting you to ask me that since day one." He shifted, David could hear him and felt the bed move slightly. "I knew you and Margot should be together. I didn't think it would be a problem, then. You never seemed to find anyone to be steady with, so I figured you'd think I was coming onto you, you know - making a pass at you if I told you. And besides, I never got any vibe from you that told me I should bother."

"Yeah, but did you really think I'd stop being friends with you over it? Am I that callous and and quick to judge?"

"No, not at all. But you often judge things by their cover. Or jump to conclusions without looking at the whole picture. I worried that I might be giving you a reason to question our friendship. And my intentions."

David's voice was stronger now, less unsure. "Maybe we should be questioning it. I mean, I trust you. I'm still your friend, that's not the issue. But what is it based on?"

Frank turned on his side in the dark, facing him, laying on his arm with his elbow crooked, comfortably. "Do you love Margot?"

"Of course! Of course I do."

"Do you love me? As a friend, I mean?"

"Well, yeah. Of course."

Frank continued, "I love Margot, too. And I love you. It's all fairly simple. Friends can love each other; it's part of why they can be so close; why we can trust each other and depend on one another."

"See, this is what I can't get. Why is it that you always understand these basic things and always have to explain them to me like this? I feel stupid - Margot does it, too. It's obvious, why do you act like I don't get it? And if it's that easy, why are we having to talk at all?"

"You're the one who said that we needed to question it. I'm just going along with you."

"Well, don't. You don't have to humor me, Frank."

"What *do* you want?"

David stopped, realizing he hadn't even considered it. "What? From you?"

"Yeah."

He was at a loss for words. "I - I don't know." Flailing, he reached out with, "What do you want?"

He swore he could almost hear Frank's eyebrows raising. "That's easy, too - another one you shouldn't have to ask. For us to be friends, still. That's never changed. But you know that."

David closed his eyes against the sudden feeling of vertigo. "What if I wanted more than that?" He felt as though the bed was suddenly tilting under him and he was losing his orientation. It - it almost made him feel seasick but not in a nauseous way more like he was floating in a cloud of dark insecurity, on the edge of some vast realization. He was self- consciously aware that he was wearing his briefs and a t-shirt, and nothing else. And that Frank was wearing the same.

He heard Frank sigh softly. "What if. Do you, David?" Frank knew it was only a hypothetical question.

But now David was lost, falling, falling. In the dark. Even thinking of Margot couldn't save him. He felt like the bottom was dropping out of his stomach and was suddenly afraid. He was shaking slightly, small shivery things ran up and down him. Have I misjudged love? Have I misjudged Frank? Myself? Have I done him a disservice? And what about Margot? Have I hurt her by *not* letting her go when she originally wanted to? For my own selfish reason; wanting her to give my heart a justification for it's existence? He cleared his throat and licked his dry lips with a parched tongue. "Would it ruin everything?"

Frank hesitated, mulling it over. "Could do. Or it could just change things. Change isn't always ruinous, even if it appears that way at first, too. But dependency is not love."

That nearly stung. "You think I'm *dependent* on you?"

"Don't get upset, David. It's part of what defines you. It's the kind of person you are. You need Margot and me, to be there. That's what friends are for. It's something everyone needs, actually. It's just that different people need it in different ways."

David gave a short, self-mocking laugh. "I don't know what I want *or* need."

"Yeah, I know. You've always been like this though. You *want* someone to tell you what you need."

David laughed again, this time more freely. "Yeah. Right. You're right. Okay. But I still don't know what I need."

"I told you already, you need Margot and me to be there for you," Frank repeated, patiently.

But his trembling hadn't gone away and now he definitely felt like he was falling. Back, back, tilting over the side. He almost half-expected the bed to slide beneath him and tip him off onto the floor. He swallowed. He wondered if he was experiencing a panic attack or something. It certainly felt close to panic. And nothing he could think of doing seemed appropriate, like it might possibly help. He found himself crawling out of the bed on his side, and fumbling to the bathroom in the dark.

The harsh reality of light and stark walls hit him, belying meaning or assistance even in the perfection of the wallpaper and tiles. He'd been right. This didn't help. He still felt off-balance. He splashed cold water on his face. He wasn't afraid of Frank. He was afraid of what he might do to Frank. He didn't want to ask anything of him. But he longed to - to be held. To just be there, with him, to be comforted and feel safe. To know that everything was okay. And he couldn't ask that now, without accepting the fact that he was painfully aware of how easy it would be to then turn it into something else. From affection of friendship to enjoying the closeness, the warmth and intimacy. So easy.

He looked up at himself in the mirror. He suddenly couldn't see the executive, the smart fellow who winningly smiled his way through success with ease. All he saw was a nervous and rather young, vulnerable looking guy who suffered too many illusions Suddenly he was ashamed. He didn't deserve Margot; he'd never managed to shake that. It was partly what drove him to remain at her side and ignore the tug that he felt sometimes towards a flash of shapely leg or a simply incredible pair of tits that screamed their curvaceous appeal. He also didn't deserve Frank. He did look up to him in so many ways.

And he hated himself for now nearly throwing away his priceless and valuable friendship on something as trivial as - he forced himself to think it - gay curiosity. Wondering now after all these years of being an ignorant 'womanizer' as Frank had put it, what it would be like with another man. He ought to find another guy if he really was curious, but how did he account for this fixation? Just because he *knew* Frank's predilections, his personal preference?

What *did* he really want? Deep down inside, he knew he wanted too much. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He wanted Frank's support and his love, he wanted Margot's forgiveness and nearly devotional way of keeping him in line that she had. He wanted her easy loving and tender kisses, her smiles and admiration. And her don't hide, think it mothering of him. He wanted to be able to hold Frank without having to fear that Frank would reject whatever feelings he might have for him. He wondered why suddenly it wasn't enough to believe Frank loved him when he said so, he had to test it by seeing how far Frank really *did*.

To his surprise, he found tears were leaking hotly down his face and had been for a bit. He splashed more cold water on his face to wash both them and his doubt away. He couldn't afford to fall into this. He needed to remember who he was, what he cared about and what was more important: his pride and insecurities or his friends, his wife. He straightened, drying his face on an almost ridiculously fluffy, deep towel. And took a deep breath.

He opened the door and turned out the light, making his way back to the right side of the big bed, sliding under the covers.

Frank waited for him to settle himself before asking gently, "You okay, David?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." And he really was. He did feel better. He no longer felt like the world was spinning around in the dark. And he felt too that he had returned back to the relative normalcy of reality; Frank was Frank and nothing more. He could depend on that. At least. And he was still himself.

"Do you need to talk about it?" Frank was asking with his usual supportive attitude.

David smiled, "I love you, you know."

There was a pause. "Yeah. And I love you, David."

"I know."

Frank yawned, wondering if he dared to press further or if David had been through enough already.

But David beat him to it. He'd had time to think and felt bold. "I want you. Just because you're you. I just - want to put that out there."

Frank's pause was longer this time. His reply was quieter, too. "I know."

David frowned slightly, curious. "You do?"

"You talk in your sleep."

"But we haven't slept yet." David was confused. In fact, he was lost.

"Margot said you do. She was concerned because she didn't want you thinking that she wouldn't understand. And you don't talk to her. You don't talk *with* her. And she knows that for a while now you don't talk with me, either."

David lay there, unable to figure out how to deal with this for the moment. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. The sudden unexpected sound of rain lashing against the window with a sensuous, drippy tapping made him jump. He could hear the wind blowing it against the panes with little gusts. He frowned harder, puzzled. He couldn't remember ever dreaming anything specifically. "What do I say, in my sleep?"

"She didn't say. Just that you've said my name. We put two and two together."

David found himself at a loss for words, not for the first time and, he was certain, not for the last. Finally, he cleared his throat. "Does - does this change things?"

"It doesn't have to. Depends what you want, David. And that really *is* pointing out the obvious." Frank sounded almost humorous.

"Okay." He steeled himself. Gathering up his wits. "Can I just - I mean, can I ask you to hold me? Just that? Nothing else, just - " He stopped.

He could hear Frank's nearly silent sigh to himself as he thought about it. "Yeah, alright."

David was wondering what was the best way to do this; in the end he rolled closer, scooting over in the dark and found it was very easy indeed to find Frank. His arms were open, after all, welcoming and comforting as always. He wondered what all the fuss had been about. This was warm and perfectly easy. Safe. Exactly what he had thought, what he had wanted it to be.

He felt all his tension going, actually physically releasing as his muscles relaxed. And then were simply the two of them, holding each other in the dark, and there weren't any problems, no emotional hitches, no pain. His friend his best friend. It was alright to love him. Alright to need him.

He could sleep like thisFor the life of him he couldn't imagine why he'd worried. Or why he had thought that it would be difficult. It was just what it was, nothing more. And he sighed, contentedly, basking in the coziness of it all.

Frank was more than aware of this. And wondered why he'd signed up for it in the first place. He had known the dangers beforehand; had been fully aware that to open himself to this kind of intimacy with David would make things so much more complicated. They weren't just friends now, because he could no longer say that it wasn't important to him, to be able to do this again. The truth was that he would always miss it now, and would be unable to forget it. And that he couldn't help wanting more. To let him get this close to him was too close to his own needshis own desires.

He knew it was just a selfish wish, wanting more than this. He was holding someone in trust; David was trusting him not to abuse their relationship.

The ultimate self-inflicted torture. To hold someone as beautiful and bright as David, someone he cared so deeply for in the first place, without betraying his trust and crossing that line, *now*. god. How was he going to make it through the night? And what about tomorrow night, and the night after? This exhibition was scheduled to be a week long. Four more nights But it was better than nothing and hell, whatever David wanted. And his arms tightened around him unconsciously.

It was hard to tell who made the first move, that final move. There was the fact that David had lifted his head and pressed his mouth to Frank's rather surprised lips even as their bodies had become united full-length together, the heat acting as a magnet. And then there was nothing but drowning, deep, carelessly.

It was easier in the dark, Frank suspected. And pulled back, whispering, "Don't do this unless you know you really want it, David."

"'It'? Want 'it'? I want you. I told you." And he moved up, to kiss him again, inexorably insistent.

When Frank broke it off for air, he said, "You're too beautiful; I'm not a -"

"*Please*," David whispered, urgently, intensely, "Don't let me fall, now."

This had the effect of course at plucking at Frank's heartstrings, which he suspected had been tested more thoroughly by David, along with his capacities for patience, tolerance and forgiveness, than anyone else in his life. "Don't be afraid." And he began to place gentle kisses on his forehead, his cheeks, his eyelids, his nose and back down to his lips. Moving to his chin, and then to his neck. Unsurprisingly, at this David arched against him, his breath nearly hissing as he gasped. David was shaking slightly again, but it was different this time. There was the unmistakable feeling of something momentously unavoidable. Like there really would be no going back.

And then in a haze, they had both pulled off their shirts and were laying chest to chest, their legs against each other. David was gulping for air somewhat. Frank found he couldn't think at all any more, as the sensation of being pressed so tightly, skin on skin, was achingly, tantalizingly good. He'd had lovers before, of course, but none so good-looking, and not of course someone he felt so strongly for in the first place.

He realized with a sinking feeling that *he* was the one in love, not David. David felt fascination and then the light dawned. Margot - the little minx! She *knew*. She was the one who did it, she had set him up. True, she'd set them both up, and got him to go along with it. Still, if she hadn't said anything, he never would have *done* anything.

David suddenly stopped, freezing. Frank realized it was because he'd gone still himself, for too long. David asked, "Hey, uh, are you we okay, here?"

"You know I love you, David?" Frank's question had all the sound of unsure doubt, and not a little disbelief.

David considered this, reflexively holding him tighter, if that was possible. It was felt, though. "Yeah. But do you believe that I love you? If we don't get over this part, we aren't going to be able to go on, you know."

"You sure you *want* to go on?"

David found himself laughing quietly. He placed a volley of kisses on him. "I should have known that *you'd* be one needing reassurance." And the grin was still evident as he added, "You tell me," as he turned slightly, letting the full length of the front of his body press against Frank's right side. Leaving of course no doubt as to how hard he was. And how ready. "You realize of course you're going to have to tell me what to do, here. You're my first, uh, man"

With a slight, short sigh of surrender to this, Frank captured his lips again and let himself lean on him, pressing him back into the mattress. "I'll need to get - some things."

"Fine. I'll be here." David seemed to sense that Frank worried he'd be too spooked to carry through.

There was some floundering in the dark and mutterings as bags were carded through. It wasn't long before Frank returned to the actually rather over-large bed. "What do *you* want to do?"

"I want" David's mouth went still - he didn't know how to say it without it sounding crude to his own mind, and yet, there was no other way to say it, really. He swallowed. "I want you to - to take me. Want you inside me."

Frank was rather stunned. He was certain that he would have -"David, it might be easier for you to have me, first. I mean, you've never done this before. And there's lots of other things" and he ran a hand over his skin, reaching down to hold David's cock, enjoying the way David sucked in his breath again. That little moan he had. He began to pull on him, saying, "Sure you don't want to do something easier?"

But David was hardly unused to sex; he'd had probably four or five times more encounters, never mind they were all women or that it had *only* been sex, really, before Margot. He was more adventurously inclined than Frank was - that was something he'd always known. Frank tended to go for the psychological or romantic side of relationships. He grinned. "Take me, Frank. I want you to." He moved up, taking Frank in his arms and pulling him down atop him, kissing him furiously before panting, "I'm sure. *Please*."

"Alright," Frank agreed, cheerfully. This was turning out much better than he'd expected. Even if David ended up changing his mind and there was never a repeat of this experience, Frank would have something to remember. At least, that's what his head was busy telling his heart. "Lay back, turn over" He stripped off his shorts.

David lay facedown, suddenly feeling like an offering, his face turned to the right. Then, Frank's hands were warm and large upon him, stroking his back, his thighs, and gently sliding his briefs down and off his feet. Returning to his back, moving over him almost like a massage, only lighter and definitely more intently. Then a hand slowly stroking his ass, moving to between his legs, gently moving, caressing. Never ceasing, never giving him reason to halt or worry.

Frank had retrieved some lube and he heard him tearing open a condom. His hands returned to their admiring exploration. And then Frank's other hand was moving to part his buttocks, a single finger wetly stroking his anus - his breath suddenly catching in his throat. It wasn't invasive; it was like being made love to, focused down to a single point of exquisite concentration. David had done this before, with several ladies in the past, and enjoyed it but had never expected to be able to satisfy the curiosity of what it would be like to do it as merely the *first* stage in a process. A mere precursor leading to the possession of his body - David was suddenly very grateful, very glad indeed that it was Frank here he knew there was no other man that he ever would trust to do this. To let them.

And then there was just the gliding pleasure of tight pressure being smoothed away, followed by the expected and yet still shockingly delicious sensation inside as his gland was discovered by both. A star bursting inside his head with tiny sparks And he was gasping, crying out almost inaudibly at the feeling, his legs gone useless and losing control over his breathing. It was too good. There was a slight burning and he was biting his lip but then it was growing easier as they continued, so he didn't say anything. He trusted Frank to not hurt him.

Finally, Frank decided he was loosened enough to be able to take him. David couldn't help tightening slightly though, tensing as Frank moved behind him to lie down along him. And there was a very large sensation, Frank pushing into him slowly by only an inch. David was still, quiet, almost quivering at the warring feelings rushing around inside him: he wanted it, wanted this, and yet he couldn't help being somewhat frightened. So final, so engulfing.

And then Frank was kissing the back of his neck, his cheek, running his hands over him. "I do love you, David; so much. God, I never thought that - that you'd let me. That you would let me do this." And was kissing him again as he pressed forward slightly more this time, sliding another inch or so into him. "wanted you so much, for so long" David found he couldn't speak, or breathe now, couldn't think, couldn't even move. And found a moan being pushed out of him by the sheer inexplicability of it all. It was nothing like he had expected. And it certainly was wholly indescribable. All the words he had previously thought described 'pleasure' seemed inadequate and empty.

And then there was nothing but a shivering sort of wet heat as Frank slid all the way inside him, sealing them together, his cock trapped under him against the bed. The bottom dropped completely out of his world now, like before. But instead of where there had been a dark abyss of doubt and trepidation, there was only the quiet, rushing privacy of invisible sharing, no longer alone in it.

Frank began to move back out of him, slowly, not wanting to hurt him. And David growled slightly, and groaned, "Come *on*, fuck me! Fuck me *now*" helplessly and demanding, until Frank couldn't do anything but comply.

Harder now, and more possessively, he used his weight to hold down the smaller man, thrusting into him more quickly. Then he was driving into him hard, causing these incredibly erotic open-mouthed cries to be torn from David as he reveled in the sheer novelty, the beauty, the wild tenderness of penetrating and owning the body of his best friend, his inspiration, his beloved, beautiful David, his one love

And then David was succumbing to the extreme overwhelming pressure of it all; of being fucked for the first time, of tasting the rush of being both simultaneously owned and yet loved. It was hard and fast and like being possessed. He suddenly understood with a whirl of empathy what it had been like for all the women he'd ever had, what he'd done to them, this place he had brought them to, almost unconsciously. Frank's hand had managed to find its way down under to hold his cock and was now working it in time, whispering his name. David bucked, grinding his hips almost like dancing, repeatedly accepting each thrust completely, until his over-stimulated senses couldn't take anymore and he was coming hard, his hot cream spilling all over the bed beneath him. And the accompanying spasms in his ass sent Frank over the edge, shooting into him with a ragged cry. There was a stunned, speechless silence broken only by half-heard, half- conscious panting. Long minutes passed with a strange surreal flow of time.

In the aftermath of sweaty, smiling squirming out from beneath him to seize him and kiss him breathless, David said, "You know what you've done, don't you? Once isn't gonna be enough of that."

"Jesus, David," Frank breathed against his cheek, his ear. "Just, stay with me. Here." And he was pulling up the covers once more, settling them in like two lazy cats. David was almost purring. Frank shook his head slightly and grinned. Incredible. He never in a million years would have imagined.

This.

David was shaking silently, suddenly laughing, "I can't believe how dense I've been. I should have seduced *you*, years ago."

Frank granted him a kiss, a single smooch. And lay with eyes peeled in the dark, seeing nothing but still envisioning the possibilities. It was already becoming clear that he didn't have to worry about their friendship suffering over this.

And smiling, he replied, "You did."

finis

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

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