The Bumpersticker Challenge
by Everyone
How many funny bumperstickers can you think of that apply to NLC's? The results, in no particular order:
David Lake
- Earth woman, prepare to be probed!
Cory Raines
- I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
- When guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
- Flirt
- Life's A Bitch and Then It Goes On
Rodney Lange
- I'm not think as you drunk I am.
- If you don't like my drving, get off of the sidewalk.
- I am having an out of money experience.
- Rehab is for quitters.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor
Krycek/Skinner
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy...other times I let him sleep.
Matthew
- Free Tibet!
- Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
- When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
- Follow the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions
- Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
- When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
- Spend some time alone every day.
- Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
- Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
- Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
- A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
- In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
- Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
- Be gentle with the earth.
- Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
- Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
- Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
- Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Maximillian
- Copulate Don't Populate
- Fight the Power!
- 99% Angel
- If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue!
- Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole
- Don't worry about the world coming to an end today, it's already tomorrow in Australia
- If you are born again, does that mean you have two bellybuttons?
- Don't be sexist....broads hate that
- If two wrongs don't make a right...try three
- "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
- "God used to be my co-pilot...but then we crashed in the Andes and I had to eat him.
Anson
- Allow me to introduce my selves.
- I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
- I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
- I'm goin Nuckin Futz!
- You're just jealous cause the voices talk to me
- Do autoparanoid schizophrenic agnostic dyslexic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if they might be the dog that's out to get them?
- I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
- I think I'm having a Jerry Springer moment.
- I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
- I put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
- My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
- Is it time for your medication or mine?
- I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Vic
- How can I miss you if you won't go away?
- If a turtle doesn't have his shell, is he homeless or naked?
- How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
- If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson
- MOOSEHEAD: A great beer and a new experience for a moose (Sophie, this was for you! snerk)
- YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
- Good music no longer exists.
- This truck protected by Smith & Wesson.
- If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it!
Alex
- Got Lube?
- Assassins do it from behind
- Clones are people too
- Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
- If you lick me, I will kill you....well, depending on who you are
- I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense
- I don't get paid enough to give a shit
- The way to a man's heart is between the fourth and fifth ribs.
- Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
- Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
- As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
- More light!
- I still miss my ex but my aim is improving.
- Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
- Does this condom make me look fat?
- Friends may come and go but enemies accumulate.
- Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
- If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
- Go ahead and honk. I'm reloading.
- The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Tom McLaren
- Eat The Rich!
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog!
- Climbing is the only cure for gravity.
Nick
- The boat sank....GET OVER IT!
Baines
- For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
- Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
- Happiness is a belt-fed weapon
- Once you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.
Jacob Hardy
- Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
- The Meek shall inherit the earth....after we're through with it
- Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Tony Edwards
- HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH
Roy
- Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.
- Computer programmers know how to use their hardware
- It's 00:00GMT... do you know where your sys admin is?
- Conquering Cyberspace one byte at a time
Philip Padgett
- Necrophillia --- That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
- If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
- Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have
- I'm a god. Now give me your money.
- I'm real easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me
- They kicked me out of the cub scouts cause I ate a brownie
Two Miscellaneous, but Amusing
- The truth is out there...but I lost the URL
- 'WWSD - What Would Scully Do?' Alex, if he'd let her...(Oh, like she's different from the rest of us)
~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~
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