The Bumpersticker Challenge

by Everyone

How many funny bumperstickers can you think of that apply to NLC's? The results, in no particular order:

David Lake

• Earth woman, prepare to be probed!

Cory Raines

• I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
• When guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
• Flirt
• Life's A Bitch and Then It Goes On

Rodney Lange

• I'm not think as you drunk I am.
• If you don't like my drving, get off of the sidewalk.
• I am having an out of money experience.
• Rehab is for quitters.
• One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor

Krycek/Skinner

• Sometimes I wake up grumpy...other times I let him sleep.

Matthew

• Free Tibet!
• Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
• When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
• Follow the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions
• Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
• Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
• Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
• When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
• Spend some time alone every day.
• Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
• A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
• In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
• Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
• Be gentle with the earth.
• Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
• Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
• Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
• Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Maximillian

• Copulate Don't Populate
• Fight the Power!
• 99% Angel
• If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue!
• Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole
• Don't worry about the world coming to an end today, it's already tomorrow in Australia
• If you are born again, does that mean you have two bellybuttons?
• Don't be sexist....broads hate that
• If two wrongs don't make a right...try three
• "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
• "God used to be my co-pilot...but then we crashed in the Andes and I had to eat him.

Anson

• Allow me to introduce my selves.
• I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
• I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
• I'm goin Nuckin Futz!
• You're just jealous cause the voices talk to me
• Do autoparanoid schizophrenic agnostic dyslexic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if they might be the dog that's out to get them?
• I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
• I think I'm having a Jerry Springer moment.
• I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
• I put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
• My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
• Is it time for your medication or mine?
• I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Vic

• How can I miss you if you won't go away?
• If a turtle doesn't have his shell, is he homeless or naked?
• How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
• If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson
• MOOSEHEAD: A great beer and a new experience for a moose (Sophie, this was for you! snerk)
• YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP
• You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
• Good music no longer exists.
• This truck protected by Smith & Wesson.
• If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it!

Alex

• Got Lube?
• Assassins do it from behind
• Clones are people too
• Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
• If you lick me, I will kill you....well, depending on who you are
• I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense
• I don't get paid enough to give a shit
• The way to a man's heart is between the fourth and fifth ribs.
• Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
• Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
• As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
• More light!
• I still miss my ex but my aim is improving.
• Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
• Does this condom make me look fat?
• Friends may come and go but enemies accumulate.
• Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
• If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
• Go ahead and honk. I'm reloading.
• The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Tom McLaren

• Eat The Rich!
• The more people I meet, the more I like my dog!
• Climbing is the only cure for gravity.

Nick

• The boat sank....GET OVER IT!

Baines

• For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
• Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
• Happiness is a belt-fed weapon
• Once you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.

Jacob Hardy

• Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
• The Meek shall inherit the earth....after we're through with it
• Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Tony Edwards

• HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH

Roy

• Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.
• Computer programmers know how to use their hardware
• It's 00:00GMT... do you know where your sys admin is?
• Conquering Cyberspace one byte at a time

Philip Padgett

• Necrophillia --- That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
• If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
• Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have
• I'm a god. Now give me your money.
• I'm real easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me
• They kicked me out of the cub scouts cause I ate a brownie

Two Miscellaneous, but Amusing

• The truth is out there...but I lost the URL
• 'WWSD - What Would Scully Do?' Alex, if he'd let her...(Oh, like she's different from the rest of us)

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

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