It's No Good
by Shadowfox and Dr Ruthless
Disclaimer: They belonged to Alliance, and Alliance blew them to glory. Since then, we've wrapped them in a blanket, and loved them, and hugged them, and called them George. Now, they want to play for us, and they are soooooooo grateful. Nobody is paying us to do this. It is a labor of love.
Rated: A and please take that warning seriously. To read it without expecting to see male/male sex will only offend you. If you don't want to see such things, go away.
Summary: Not much of a plot. Vic keeps his promise to Mac.
Series: Part 2 of 6. 1: Walking in my Shoes, 2: It's No Good, 3: Never Let Me Down Again, 4: Barrel of a Gun, 5: Waiting for the Night, 6: Nothing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm going to take my time
I have all the time in the world
To make you mine
It is written in the stars above
The gods decree
You'll be right here by my side
Right next to me
You can run but you cannot hide
Don't say you want me
Don't say you need me
Don't say you love me
It's understood
Don't say you're happy
Out there without me
I know you can't be
Cause it's no good.
--Depeche Mode
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vic startled when he heard the doorbell ring. "Fuck," he swore softly as a hot drop of the rich sauce splashed up and caught his arm. "Steady! You knew he was coming; you know why he's here. Take it slow."
He answered the door with what he hoped was a sincere smile on his face. "Hey, Mac...come on it, have a seat." He gestured vaguely toward the couch. Why am I so nervous? I feel like a schoolgirl on the first date... "I'm just finishing up in the kitchen." He winced a bit as he heard his own voice quaver slightly.
Mac winced as well. "Oh, shit, Victor, not more of your lame attempts at cooking?" Even as he said it, he wished he could take it back. He hadn't come here to fight.
Victor blinked slowly. "Unlike you," he responded with quiet dignity, "I actually have ingredients on hand. It works a lot better that way," and with that, he disappeared back into the kitchen.
"Well, it would if you ever prepared anything edible," Mac replied perversely. What the hell was wrong with him tonight? He'd been waiting all week for this.
Victor sighed. Mac had only been here for a minute and a half, and already this was turning into a disaster. Maybe the Director had been right.
"If you don't want to eat it, we can order out. I wouldn't want to force you."
Mac sighed as well. "No, no. That's okay. Give it your best shot. I guess I can call in at the Golden Dragon on the way home."
Victor shook his head at that. It was another reminder of how a pretty female face and body had turned Mac's head. He envied Kathy Chow, the Dragon's owner, because she'd seen more of his beautiful lover than he had over the past seven days.
"And how is Kathy, by the way?" Not that Victor particularly cared, but he wanted to make some kind of connection - something that would let him know that the other night hadn't been imaginary. The past week had been a nightmare for him. Far from spending his free time in Mac's arms, he'd spent every minute under the auspices of Dobrinsky, paying penance for who the hell knew what.
Mac saw the hurt in Vic's eyes and moved towards him, wanting to touch him but not quite sure if it was within the rules. He was totally out of his depth here. Funny how all of a sudden he was tongue-tied, when it had been no problem at all to talk to Vic before they'd become lovers.
"Oh, K-kathy?" His voice was a study in nonchalance, even as he agonized over what to say that might break the ice. "Fine, I guess."
Vic saw Mac hesitate. He wondered just what was going through the other man's mind. Clearing his throat, he broke the silence before it became impenetrable. "That's good." As if he gave a shit! "Listen, can you help me set the table? The wine's in the fridge."
"I guess." Mac's lack of enthusiasm was apparent as he slouched off towards the kitchen. "We gonna sit at the table, Mansfield? Is it your birthday?" He busied himself with cutlery and glasses, and tried to avoid the hurt on his partners' face. Hell, he thought, this had better start to get better very soon, or he's gonna throw me out.
"I just wanted to have a nice meal. Is that okay?" Victor winced again at the hurt look on Mac's face. If we don't start clicking real soon, he's gonna be running out the door. Oh, babywhy is this going so wrong for us?
Mac's eyes widened. "Uh... sure, fine," he stammered. Inside, he was screaming, Vic! I'm sorry! Come back to me, please!
Victor's breath caught at the wide-eyed gaze. "I hope pork medallions are okay," he croaked hoarsely, "I made some pesto, too," but Mac wasn't listening anymore, he was laughing. "What?"
Mac couldn't help it. He'd gotten this image in his head and it just wouldn't go. "Gonna hang them on a chain? The Disco look...with pork," he giggled helplessly. It wasn't that funny, but the tension of the moment made it seem like the most hilarious thing he'd heard in ages.
Vic chuckled too. "No," he answered, somewhat pedantically - the 'Great Vittorio' lecturing on haute cuisine. "What that means is they are small, round cutlets, very tender and succulent. They're a little smaller than a regular chop."
"Oh, right." Finally getting himself back under control, he snuck a look at Victor's face and decided to push it just a little. "Succulent, huh?"
"Very," was the low reply as Vic smoldered for him a tiny bit. Inside, he screamed, Thank You, God!
"Fuck it, Victor...I..." Mac almost blurted out an apology, but at the last minute his cautious nature kicked in and he headed off to open the wine bottle. "Never mind."
Vic was trying to stay patient. He'd seen the look in Mac's eyes, and knew that the other man was battling himself. All he hoped was that the battle would end in favor of their relationship. He didn't think he'd be able to bear it if he lost Mac now. He shrank inwardly, felt the shutters going up behind his eyes. The last thing I want is for him to see how much I care. He cleared his throat.
"Is asparagus okay with you?"
Mac sensed his withdrawal and gave him a long, slow look.
"Sure, Vic. Let's just eat." He licked his lips as his gaze traveled the length of Victor's body, "I'm starving."
Noticing the look, Victor relaxed a little. He returned it with interest, his eyes lingering on the tight pants that Mac wore.
"Yeah, so am I." Damn, now I'm nervous all over again! He laughed without any real mirth, and then changed the laugh to a cough. "The butter sauce is rather rich, but its perfect for steamed asparagus. I hope you like it," he came within a hair of brushing against Mac as he passed through the doorway with the dish.
After almost dropping it, Mac wrapped the open wine bottle in a towel and carried it back to the table. He didn't think that there was any way he could possibly eat anything - with the possible exception of Victor himself. He took a seat.
"Okay, Mother, bring it on," he said, with the air of a man waiting for his execution. Grinning hugely, Victor filled Mac's plate for him and passed it over.
"You're not gonna know what hit you!" he enthused. After the first disastrous time, hed been waiting for a chance to cook for his very picky partner again, and tonights menu had been drawn up with an eye toward showing off some of the more difficult and flavorful dishes in Vics repertoire.
"Apart from Salmonella, you mean," said Mac, surveying his plate dubiously. Damn! There went his mouth again! But he clearly remembered the last time Vic had cooked for him and wasnt exactly willing to repeat the experience. Oh, baby; the things I endure for youwell, come on, Ramsey, don't drag it out--it would be torture.
"Mac," Vic was laughing again. "Salmonella is chicken. You get hookworms from pork."
Noticing Victor's evil grin, Mac smiled, saying nonchalantly, "Oh, right, hookworms -right! Just as long as I know. I'd hate to get the wrong thing and baffle medical science," well, this was good; this was okay. Vic wasnt trying to hit him, or even worse, giving him that look that made Mac feel like hed just drowned somebodys kitten. He relaxed the tiniest bit.
Victor rolled his eyes. Mac was such a smart-ass. "Malcolm, shut up and eat," the chastisement was given with a tender smile. I've missed him so much, he thought in amazement. One week, and he's so wrapped in my soul it's scary. It's good, but fuck, is it ever scary!
Mac shut up and resigned himself to try Vic's 'Pork a la Disco Inferno', cringing just a little bit as he took his first bite. To his surprise, it tasted really good, excellent in fact, although naturally he was never going to admit that to Vic. Instead, he coughed a little, theatrically, and clutched his stomach, moaning in agony.
Seeing the wicked grin widen, Mac froze in mid moan. "What?" he asked. "You're looking at me. Isn't it enough that you're killing me? You have to watch me die, too?"
Vic decided to play along. "Awww. Hey, Mac, you okay? It's not too spicy, is it?" he asked with just the right touch of mock concern in his voice.
"Spicy? There's spice in this stuff? I thought it was arsenic," the younger man shot back, getting into the spirit of the game at last.
Victor smirked at the poke. "Arsenic is an extremely poisonous semi-metallic element, atomic number 33, group 15 of the Periodic Table and anything over 65 milligrams--which is a single grain, by the way--is at the very least going to make you pretty sick," he said a bit smugly. "You don't particularly look like you're dying, Mac. In fact, you just look kinda constipated to me," and Ive got just what you need to make it all better, lover, he thought wickedly.
"You don't think I'm dying?" the younger man pouted outrageously.
"No." Vic saw the pout, and felt himself harden as he took in the full lips and remembered what they had done to him in the back of his truck. Oh, shitcan't go there. I promised myself I'd take it slow. But his body refused to listen to his brain.
Mac gave his lover his best, full-on, soulful puppy-dog gaze. "I am, you know. Dying, I mean."
Fuck it. I'm lost. Here I come, baby. "You are? Let me see," and with that, he planted a long, slow wet kiss on those perfectly pouty, luscious lips. It was just as good as he remembered; better even for having been denied so long.
The kiss was sweet and hard, and Mac forgot everything as he felt Vic's tongue sweep into his mouth, red wine flavoring his lips. He gave it all up to Vic with a gasp.
"God, Vic. I really, really missed you."
"I missed you too, Mac." He pulled his chair around the corner so that he sat a little closer to the ex-thief. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think I'd changed my mind."
Mac leaned in and allowed himself to be petted. "I didn't see you all week, and you never answered my calls. I thought you hated me," there was the slightest bit of petulance in his voice.
"Oh, Mac, never." Vic nuzzled into his lover's neck. "But I *told* you she'd make our lives hell for what we did." He didn't need to name the 'she' to whom he was referring, and he felt a shudder run through Mac at the oblique mention.
"Why? What happened?" Absently, Mac had begun munching his way through the food on his plate. "Why couldn't you come to me, talk to me about it? I was hurting really badly."
"Mac, slow down; it isn't gonna run away," the older man said gently, realizing he sounded just like his mother. He sighed. "So was I. You know she fucking put Dobie on my back?" He was still incredulous. She'd had the nerve to treat him like some first-year newbie! "I haven't been disciplined in years, Mac!"
Mac groaned. "Oh, no. The cars?"
"Yeah, and some other little nasty jobs." Mac winced. He was intimately acquainted with Dobrinsky's 20 cars. He'd been there more times than he cared to remember. Vic grimaced in disgust. "I think he deliberately busted that sewer pipe," he mused grimly, and Mac gave an ill concealed snort of laughter.
"But Vic, how come you care?" He'd felt the stiffening as Vic heard his mirth, and spoke rapidly to cover it. "I mean, it's not as though you're in love with the work. You said yourself that the best thing about it is that you don't have to dress up."
Vic thought a long moment. "Actually, I do like the work," he admitted. "It's the methods and the superiors I sometimes have a problem with."
"I hear you there," Mac muttered in agreement.
"Even the methods I can overlook sometimes, but..." He stalled out helplessly, aware of the hidden eyes and ears all around them.
"But?"
A huge breath, and then, "But, Jesus, Mac! I can't take the constant monitoring. She knows everything we do! It isn't right, you know?" Mac nodded. He did know.
"At least you don't have her" He shuddered. "Stroking you... touching you..." There was a pause, and then a thought occurred. "You don't, do you?"
Vic considered. "She did once...ugh!" Then the implications of the question sunk in and he whipped around to contemplate his lover, who was busily devouring medallions of pork, and growled possessively. "When did she touch you?"
"She's always doing it!" Mac's voice was indignant. "Sometimes I think that my bedroom is a fucking freeway! It's like she has this need to grope me. It's... indecent, that's what it is."
"What?" Vic was plainly furious. He turned away from Mac, growling, "I'll fucking kill her! She didn't..." he paused as the memory of their superior's liberties and their 'meeting' the other night finished gelling and a horrible thought occurred to him.
Mac gulped. "She"
"She didn't touch you when you were naked, did she?" Vic was looking dangerously angry now.
Mac flinched. When did she not? The woman seemed to feel as though he was her own private kitty toy. Uh... yeah, actually she always does," he admitted reluctantly. Judging by the quickly shuttered look in those bright green eyes, it was the wrong thing to say.
Mac would rather have been almost anywhere else at that moment, but he knew Vic needed soothing after the little bombshell hed just dropped. "Calm down, man. You know it doesnt mean anything. Its just one of her petty power trips, he shrugged a bit and concentrated on his dinner once more, suddenly ashamed and unable to face the accusation in Victors steady gaze.
Victor looked at him for a long moment, trying to absorb this information hed just been given. "When?" he finally asked, very quietly. "Tell me, baby," he pleaded when Mac didn't answer, turning his partner to face him. He had an idea of what Mac would say, but wanted to hear the words anyway.
Mac was thinking that it had been a mistake to bring it up. "Oh, baby, I forget. All the damn time," drop it, please, lover. Drop it.
Seeing the desperation in his eyes, Vic gently stroked his face. "Malcolm," he pleaded - unconsciously using Mac's given name; the one he knew no one else ever called him.
"She wakes me up, gropes me and then she's outa there," Mac said defensively. Come on, Vic, cut me a break here, he silently pleaded. His plate was empty.
Hating to do it, but unable to leave it alone, Vic continued to press the younger man.
"Malcolm," he pleaded, caressing his lover with his voice, eyes and hands. He knew that look, had seen it too often on abuse victims, and it twisted his gut to see it on his sweet baby's face.
"Will you stop with that Malcolm shit?" Mac was on the defensive now, trying to get away from his partner's intensity. He hated his given name, although coming from Victor it sounded wonderful. It made him feel safe and wanted; still, he knew once Vic found out about the last time the Director had come to see him, it would be over.
"No," Vic said firmly. "Now spill it. When's the last time she did?" Be strong, my man; I've got you. Never again.
"I think it was Tuesday," Mac whispered, red-faced. "Might have been Wednesday. I don't remember. Why?" You idiot, you know why. Hes gonna kick you to the curb for being such a slut. He knew it wouldnt matter that he hadnt wanted it or that hed never actually fucked their boss. His body had still betrayed him, and hed lose the ex-cop because of it.
Even though he knew it was coming, Victor exploded anyway. "That bitch!" he said, much more angrily than he'd intended.
Mac flinched. "What? Come on, Vic. It's no big deal. You know how she is." I'm sorry; I'm sorry; I'm so sorry! I didnt want herI only want you. Please, let me make it up to you
Victor, caught up in his own misery, didn't see the look on Mac's face.
"'Cause she came to see me. Told me I was poaching." Oh, God, what am I gonna do? I want to kill her! I am so sick of these games.
Mac blinked in surprise. "Poaching? You have to be kidding. Poaching what? How?"
"Apparently, you." Vic took one of his partner's hands between his own and pierced him with a deep, searching look. "Tell me something?" He was clearly embarrassed, and as Mac waited, his face went through a whole series of emotions. Finally, he bit his thumb, grunted and blurted it out. "Do...do you want her? Like that? I mean, I know she's beautiful, in a cold sort of way, but...I couldn't imagine" He shuddered and hung his head.
Mac shuddered in sympathy. He really had to disabuse Vic. The very thought was enough to make his dick turn inside out and hide within his body cavity. "You know what? She scares me to death."
"Me, too." The truth rang in Victor's voice, and then his gaze turned soulful. "What about me? Do you want me?"
"The thought of" Mac was burbling on, and it took a minute for Vic's words to sink in. He stopped abruptly. "What? How can you ask that?" He was as sincere as he had ever been as he looked at his insecure lover. "I haven't thought about anything else for the past week."
Those beautiful jade eyes burned with intensity. "I ask because I need to know if I should fight for you or if you'd rather just let it be," he trembled the slightest bit as he waited for Mac's answer.
"You don't have to fight for me," Mac whispered. He could see that Vic still refused to believe his own luck. "Come on, Victor, I don't want her. Don't want anyone else but you, man."
"Really? Not even LiAnn?"
Ouch! "You know what? I think I wanted her because you had her." Mac laughed weakly at the look on the other man's face. "I know. I'm a sick man."
Vic looked away briefly. "And I wanted to hold on to her because I knew you could take her back." He laughed as well. "Aren't we the pair?" he said wonderingly.
Mac dropped his fork and pulled Vic to him. "Get this straight," he growled, "you're mine right now." God, when was this man going to learn?
"I'm yours forever, baby," Vic breathed as he laid his head on Mac's chest. "Never gonna be anyone else for me...I can feel it," he could feel Mac tense and hugged him tighter. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he listened to the strong heart thunder in his ear. "I shouldn't be saying that," he mumbled as he kissed Mac's neck, "don't want to spook you..."
Overwhelmed by the declaration, Mac kissed him, pulling him in hard and knocking glasses and plates off the table as he did. He leant Victor back, knocking the sauce dish over onto the table, spreading butter sauce everywhere. Their mouths locked, fierce and hot, while their hands roamed each other frantically. When they finally separated, Vic pulled away panting, not even noticing the chaos that their embrace had caused, and whispered, very softly, "God, I love you...love you so much," with a look of absolute amazement on his face.
The words were quiet, but Mac had caught them and he groaned as he looked at Vic, lips kiss-swollen and face flushed with desire. He thought that he'd never seen anything quite so sexy in his life. "Oh, fuck, Victor... Come on. You have to come here." Tugging at Vic's shirt, he moved in again wanting to repeat the exercise.
Vic started to unbutton Mac's shirt, and peeped up at him through thick lashes. "Yeeeessssss," he hissed softly. "I promised you, didn't I? I always keep my promises." Then he laughed at Mac's confusion. "Promised to fuck you, baby, remember?" he drawled in his husky, bedroom voice.
Mac moaned. He remembered, that was true, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle what Victor was suggesting. He stiffened a little. "Oh, Vic," he whispered shakily as his nerves ran riot and his blood pounded in his ears. This was something hed never done, not even when he was a Hong Kong street rat, stealing and selling the occasional blowjob to survive.
Vic felt the tension in his lover's muscles, and had begun feeling insecure all over again. He searched Mac's face with hazy eyes, looking for a clue as to how Mac might really be feeling. "You do want me to fuck you, don't you?"
Mac wasn't sure. He didn't know. Right now he was sure it was a bad idea, even though he wanted Vic, wanted to please him. He groped for something to say to Vic that would let him know how he felt without hurting him. "I need you so badly." Shit! That wasn't it. Where had that come from?
"I'll make sure you never remember what it's like to have her hands on your skin." Vic was pushing back Mac's shirt, dragging at the buckle of his belt in an effort to unfasten his pants and planting hot wet kisses wherever he found a new patch of skin.
Mac was shuddering under the attention. Vic was hot and his tongue was wonderfully inventive. He felt good against Mac's bare skin and the ex-thief suddenly thought, I could do this--with him.
"Now?" The word was a croak, and Vic smiled at him, swooping in to kiss him again.
"Right now," Kiss! "Right here," Kiss! "You want me?" Fusion occurred, sensual melding in a long, slow, silken sharing of mouths.
Mac broke from the embrace gasping. "Fuck, yeah," his hands trembled horribly as he joined his lover in pulling at his suddenly offensive clothing. I want you more than I can even think about; so much more than I could ever have thought possible. The realization scared the living daylights out of him.
Vic hit his knees when Mac's pants finally yielded, peeling them and the boxer briefs down the long, long legs and off, like a child with a special present. Unable to resist, he sucked his beautiful lover hard into his mouth.
Mac tossed his head back with a harsh cry and threaded his hands into the short, dark hair. "Holy cow, Vic," he moaned helplessly, feeling the pleasure build as Victor slowly pulled up and sensuously lapped at the clear, bitter syrup welling up from the purple head of his painfully swollen member. He was so hard, harder than hed ever been in his life, and watching Victor go down on him so eagerly was threatening to make him lose all self-control. He felt his hips start to buck and pushed on his lover in a panic. No! Please! I want it to last
Vic looked up, seeing Mac's problem, and grinned around his mouthful. Regretfully, he pulled away from the other man and sat back on his heels.
Mac whimpered. "Oh, Victor. Please...please... "
"Hang on, baby." Vic pushed the taller man back against the table's edge, his mouth hot and slick as he browsed over Mac's chest. "Gonna make you feel so good," he whispered.
"I feel so good already." Mac's flippant smile was an effort, and it was evident that he was still nervous as Victor began to take control. "You're gonna fuck me?" His knees felt loose and disjointed all of a sudden. "I need to sit down."
Vic smiled at him, and then laid his mouth against Mac's ear, his whispers causing thrills to run up and down Mac's spine. "Oh, you bet I am. You want it?" At Mac's shaky nod, he indicated the table. "Then sit up here."
Mac blinked. "On the table," he said slowly. Wasn't that something people only did in cheesy porno flicks?
"Yes," Victor smiled slyly, and it did funny things to Mac's heart rate. "Humor me."
With a dubious, "Okay," Mac reluctantly boosted his butt onto the table, barely missing the butter sauce pooled there. His reward was a slow, honeyed kiss.
"Thank you," Vic whispered as he suddenly thought of their discussion the other night. As talented as that sinful mouth was, Vic really didn't think that Mac had gone this far before with another man; and it made him melt to think that Mac would be giving him a gift as precious as his virginity. If he was Macs first male lover, Victor vowed to make it as sweet and hot as possible for the younger man, with no time or room for regrets. "Mac?" he whispered gently, stroking and soothing his trembling lover. "Trust me? Just a little?"
Mac blew a harsh breath. I said I could do thisand I want to so badly "I...I trust you. I want you, Vic." He ran his hands down over Victor's sides to cup his butt and knead the solid muscles.
Victor nibbled Mac's neck and caught something out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah? Look up at the chandelier," he whispered. Some perverse little seed within him sprouted and grew at the sight of the little red indicator nestled within the fixture and he welcomed it with open arms. The Director wanted to watch? Well, then, let her watch this
"The chandelier?" It was a moan, rather than a question. "What? I'm confused, man," he marveled at the fact he'd managed a complete sentence even though Victor had seemingly turned into a vampire and was sucking on his neck hard enough practically to draw blood. "Jesus, fuck...that hurt!" he yelped. He squinted at the chandelier. "I see a light. What do you want me to see?"
"Little red one, baby?" Vic traced the vivid new bruise with his finger. It was a symbol of his possession, and it thrilled him to see it on Mac's pale skin. Let her try and beat that. She could posture all she wanted, but they both knew the Director could never have what she'd really like from Mac. It was time she accepted that, and Victor cherished the opportunity to give a very graphic demonstration of the fact.
Mac's eyes widened as realization hit. "Oh Fuck, Vic! She's watching us. She's watching all of this," he trembled just a bit again. "Want me to shoot the thing out?" he asked, only half joking.
Vic's mouth claimed him again, hard and moist, as Mac quailed. "No. Leave it. Let her watch," he whispered gently in Mac's ear.
His hands were everywhere, stroking and teasing, and Mac tried one last time to stay remote as he felt Vic's passion threatening to overwhelm them both. The last thing he wanted was to give the Director bedtime viewing. "Vic, what are you doing? We'll never live it down." Mac's protest was feeble--even he could hear the lack of conviction in his voice--and finally he relaxed, melting against Victor as he returned his kisses. Strong arms held him tight, and Mac suddenly knew that this would be okay.
"What's to live down?" Vic breathed. "We love each other. This is what people in love do."
Mac shivered in delight as Vic's hot mouth assaulted his ear again. "Okay...but I think you should know what she's capable of."
Heh. She should know what I'm capable of, thought Victor. "This is my house. She's invading my privacy. Fuck her if she can't deal with it. I'm not giving her the satisfaction of backing down this time."
Mac was stunned. "Oh, boy, Vic, you're so..." Words like 'brave', and 'rash' and 'foolhardy' swam through his mind. Then he lost words as his heart swelled, and he grabbed hold of Vic instead, pulling the ex-cop to stand between his legs as Mac sat on the table.
"So, what, baby?" there was a thread of laughter in Vic's husky voice.
"Jeez, baby, more than I can stand," was the semi-coherent answer. "Oh, fuck yeah!" His broken tones paid homage to Vic's clever hands. "Do that..."
Vic chuckled wickedly. "Hmmm, you like?"
"Ooh" Mac spluttered as Victor attacked one of his aching nipples with an agile tongue. "Like isn't in it," he panted.
"What is in it then, Mac?"
Vic's eyes alone could undo him, burning so brightly with lust - with desire. "Christ, Vic. Need you ask? I..." He hesitated, unsure of himself again. This was as dangerous as losing his virginity, maybe more so, because in all the time hed been sexually active, he had never told any of his partners he loved them-not even LiAnn. Even though hed nearly gotten killed defying their adopted family to keep her from having to marry Michael.
But shed never really pressed for the words, and hed never really felt the need to say them. Now, it was different and much more frightening because he desperately wanted to say them and was afraid he didnt know how. Fuck, VictorI cant do thishelp me
"What, baby?" That hot, sexy whisper tickling his ear once more
"I think... Oh, fuck. You drive me crazy." Oh, God, why are you pushingI can't do it
Somehow, Vic understood. "You can say it, I won't hurt you. I can see it there, in your eyes; feel it in the beat of your heart under my palm," Trust me. Trust me enough to say the words out loud
Vic was driving him to insanity and laying him bare, exposed, vulnerable. I can't, Vic please
"I need you so much," and suddenly, that wasn't enough anymore. "Oh, fuck it. I love you. There!" But strangely, he felt lighter, happier; especially when he saw the look of pure joy on Victor's face. "Now for God's sake," he grouched, "just please don't make me wait any more. It's like visiting the dentist."
Vic held him, stroking the long back with trembling hands. "No more waiting, I promise - but..." he could feel his heart thumping painfully in his chest as he got ready to ask the most important question of their burgeoning relationship.
"Now what?" Mac felt as though he was in a dream. The wine, the meal and Vic's caresses were all conspiring to make his entire body tingle. He felt as though he would burst and he needed what Victor could do for him, more than anything he'd ever thought possible.
Vic's voice was still low, and his murmur was throaty, sexy as he spoke. "Mac, listen to me. Have you ever been fucked like this? By a man, I mean? I need to know." No regrets, baby; for either of us.
Caught! Damn it. Now he won't want me. "No." His normal cockiness was absent. Having relied on the heat of the moment to get him through last time, only to wind up bitterly disappointed when they were split up back at Agency HQ, Mac had wound up scaring himself half to death thinking about this all week.
But he still wasn't sure which he was more scared of: the act itself, or the fact that he actually wanted it to happen with Victor and would give almost anything the older man asked to make it so. Blushing, he hung his head.
"It's... You've done it before, Vic? You know what you're doing?" He hated the pleading note in his voice; it made him ashamed.
Vic smiled sunnily. "Yeah, I have, and I'm gonna love teaching you all about it, Grasshopper. I promise, you'll be fine," he gently stroked down the long spine and felt Mac arch like a cat as he reached the other man's tailbone over and over, "we'll take it as slow and easy as we need to, baby. We've got all the time in the world for this; and I'm gonna spoil you rotten. I'll take such good care of you if you only let me, Mac."
Those expressive eyes were begging for trust and acceptance; asking for something that the young thief had never thought he could give until this moment. "It's kinda scary." Mac's defenses were down now, and he was offering himself without any artifice.
Vic's velvety voice tickled his senses and sent a frisson of lust rocketing down his spine. "Shh....I know..."
Then Mac's hands were running over Vic, stroking him, feeling for his cock and trying to gauge by touch if he could take the thick, solid length. It was a cut, elegant piece of work, a proud dusty rose slightly thicker and shorter than his own.
Even as it excited him, it made his ass pucker tight in apprehension and he tensed up again.
Victor held Mac's face between his hands and kissed his eyelids in reassurance. "I know it's scary, love. But if you trust me enough, I'll take you all the way through, okay?" He moaned as he felt Mac's hand stroke him lightly, as if he were a fragile piece of china.
Mac's eyes shone. "I trust you," he whispered. "Better hurry though or I'm gonna cut and run," he laughed shakily.
"No, you won't," Vic promised, "you've waited too long for this." He slicked his fingers through the wasted butter sauce and held it up for Mac's inspection before pushing the rest of the plates off the table and laying his lover back across its surface. "Set your feet flat and relax, okay, baby?"
This was it. "Oh, god, Vic. Are you sure?" There was still time. Mac could still back out, and he knew Victor would understand and not blame him.
But before he could speak"Aahh!" He tensed up hard and tight as the very tip of a slick digit gently probed and worked its way into his reluctant body. It burned. Oh fuck, it hurt and Vic wasn't even using his cock! He just knew wasn't going to be able to do it, and Vic would leave him for someone better, sexier, less fucked up and smart-mouthed.
"Never more sure of anything in my life," Victor soothed, holding very still as he waited for the younger man to relax. "I want your cherry, Mac," he breathed into the closest ear, hoping his bluntness wouldn't scare his partner too much. He just didn't know how else to put it. "Will you let me have it, baby?"
Mac was panting hard. This was unlike anything in his experience. "That hurts, Vic," his voice quavered, "I don't know about this." If it was this bad with a fingertip, he could just imagine the agony of Victor's dick invading and stretching that tight ring of muscle.
I can't go back. It'll kill me. "Relaxtrust me...I won't hurt you, baby..." I'll push the hell out of you, but I'll die before I hurt you. In apology, he kissed Mac slowly and thoroughly, gently pumping his now only slightly hard cock.
Vic's hands were gentle and knowing. They were touching just the right places, and Mac closed his eyes. He was beginning to really get into it. He heard a voice moaning, and was startled when he realized that it was his own.
"Just my finger Mac, okay?" Vic breathed. "One finger, and I'll stop if you tell me to."
It took a minute for his words to filter through the haze of lust that shrouded Mac Ramsey at that moment. If he'd been asked to donate his kidneys he would have agreed. He smiled fuzzily.
"Okay."
Vic rubbed Mac's tight bud in slow, gentle circles with his butter slick forefinger, and kissed Mac thoroughly, lapping at the roof of his mouth as he stroked. Gradually, his lover started to relax under the caress. "Did you know there's about as many nerve endings here in your ass as there are on the head of your cock?" he asked between kisses, trying to explain to Mac why the sensations were so intense.
"Oh, Vic, that feels...strange." Mac's erection had subsided as the pressure of Victor's finger suggested the thought of what was about to happen. He frowned at Vic's words. "Really? Nathan tell you that?"
Vic nipped his ear sharply, and then said affectionately, "Brat! Nathan's not my type." Suddenly, he slid his finger inside Mac up to the first knuckle, hoping that the other man would be able to handle it. Praying that he would.
To his delight, Mac only twitched and then settled again, intent on his train of thought. "He likes you though. Think I didn't notice?" Mac's voice was a little strained and he panted just a bit, otherwise he seemed to be doing very well.
Baby, you're so pretty like thisI can't wait to be inside you for real. "Jealous?" Mmmm... so tight... so sweet... Mac wriggled a little and Victor froze instantly. "Am I hurting you, baby?" he stroked Mac's face in apology.
Mac smiled in lieu of a response. He was a little confused, unsure of just what he was supposed to be feeling. Aside from the initial burn, the unfamiliar sensation of being penetrated like this was actually kind ofhot. He was starting to wonder why hed waited so long to try this, until he looked over at the man responsible for the strange new vibes coursing through him. Oh, yeah-hed been waiting for Victor. He lifted a hand and gently caressed a barely stubbled cheek. He could almost imagine how it must have felt for the ex-cop his first time out and wriggled again experimentally.
"I hope that you like this. It's really" Whatever he had been going to say was lost in the sudden flash of exquisite sensation that shot through from whatever Vic had just done to him. He gasped, and then arched back as his body responded.
"Jesus! What did you do just then?"
Victor laughed. His own cock was leaking moisture, and he really, really needed to get inside Mac as soon as he could. He knew that Mac needed patience and care, but it was almost too difficult when he wanted so badly to fuck him.
"That's your prostate, baby. Like it?"
"Oh, fuck!" Mac was whimpering. He was rapidly forgetting his nerves in his urgent desire to have more, much more of Vic. "Do that again."
Vic nuzzled the sensitive ear again. "Okay," he agreed, "but I have to add another finger. Is that okay, lover? It feels really good with two."
Mac was whimpering mindlessly now. The loss of that amazing touch was staggering. "Please, baby?" he begged shamelessly.
Smiling down at his gorgeous wanton, Vic obliged with a hot, languid glide of his crossed fingers into the loosening passage. It was almost as good as having his cock there. Almost.
The ex-thief panted heavily now--from desire, not pain--and his cock finally started to rise to the occasion once more.
"Oh, Mac," Vic blew cool air across the ripe plum head peeking out of the foreskin and watched it jump hard in response. Mac was almost ready for him. "For me? It's beautiful." Reverently, he lapped at the generous stream of precome. I could live forever on the taste of you, baby.
Even as gone as he was, Mac blushed at Vic's frank and open admiration of his dick. He'd never heard anything like that before. "What? Are you taking the piss?" he gasped.
Vic ran his tongue around the ridge that circled the cock in his hand, and savored the sounds that were emanating from his captive. Mac's cock was a masterpiece - long, slender, and uncut; he swirled his tongue around the head, playing a little with the foreskin, fascinated by its movement over the solid length of muscle.
"No. I'd never do that, but if I play my cards right, I might be taking it up the ass some day soon." Mac would never know just how badly he wanted to, either. Even now, he wanted to forego the teasing and just plunge himself down on his lover and fuck them both raw, blind and stupid; but he'd promised to give Mac his first and he refused to have all this hard work go to waste. That would all come later, and soonvery, very soon
Once more, Mac took a second to process Vic's words, and realization of what he'd just said coincided with Victor finding and brushing inside him once again. He yelped, and bucked his hips. "Aahh! There's that thing again. Oh, please"
Vic was still happily playing with Mac's foreskin. "I've never had an uncut lover," he mused, and then grinned as Mac thrashed under his busy fingers. "Please what, baby? Tell me what you need..."
Mac was dazed. He was also suffering from disbelief that Vic would make him work for this. "M-more, please...need you to touch..." He rolled his head from side to side as Vic did just that.
"What do you need, Mac? Where do you want me to touch you? Tell me I'll do anything." Vic was persisting, his sultry voice weaving a counterpoint to those dangerous, questing fingers of his.
"Need to feel...pressure," the ability to articulate anything was fading rapidly. "More, please," he wriggled his ass in the hope that his body could convey what his voice could not.
And still Vic persisted. "Inside baby? Is that where you want to feel it?" His voice was soft, his touch maddening and Mac was starting to blaze out of control; groaning, straining, gasping as Vic gently shredded him to bits.
"Don't know," he wailed. "Touch me, please..." his cries had a fine raggedness to them that made Vic's blood sing. "Touch my dick," he demanded harshly.
One last time, Victor pushed. "Where do you need my touch, baby? How do you need it?" When Mac couldn't answer him, he whispered, "look at me, Malcolm. I want to drown in your eyes." Mac obeyed, lifting the hooded lids to reveal eyes that were totally black. It's time. With a kiss in apology, Victor stopped the fluttering of his fingers and pulled them out.
"Oh, Jesus," came the agonized whisper, "No, Vic! Please..."
"Shhh, listen...I need you to kneel." Vic got on the table with Mac and helped him to his knees.
"Are... Are you sure about this, Vic?" Mac felt very exposed, balanced on the table with his ass in the air.
"It's your first time." Vic said, soothing him as he stroked more of the spilled sauce onto himself. "You have control this way. I want you to love this, Mac...I want to keep you coming back again and again."
Mac sighed, and knelt, leaning back against Victor. He growled as he felt the other man nuzzling into the nape of his neck. "Can't kiss you this way."
At that, Vic turned Mac's face to his and kissed him deeply, probing with his tongue as he positioned himself to enter Mac. Mac felt the head of Vic's cock nudging at him, and all of a sudden he was shivering again. Hanging onto Vic as though he were a lifeline, he returned the kiss with desperation.
"Ready, baby?" Vic was tense and shaking himself now. He couldn't hold back. Please let him be okay. I can't stop now. I just can't. He nibbled Mac's ear, tweaked his nipples and began to press home.
Mac groaned. Here it came. Showtime! "As ready as I'm gonna get, I suppose," he panted in apprehension.
Vic grabbed Mac's hip with his free hand and urged him down, cock held steady as it came in contact with Mac's delicate, sensitive opening. "Ride me then, baby," he pleaded harshly, "take what's yours." Fighting the urge to rut and tear the other apart, he no longer cared if the words sounded harsh or blunt. All that mattered was getting into that searing hot space where he rightfully belonged.
Mac gasped at the burning pressure. It was so much more than he expected, and not nearly enough to satisfy the crazy itch inside him. "I don't...I can't...Oh, God," he moaned.
Desperate, Vic pulled the last of his self-control together and forced his hips to stay still.
"Shhh," he panted, hoping to be able to finish this soon. "Feel how slick I am...you did that to me...just stay still... feel the pulse?" The beating of our hearts, he thought muzzily. He was babbling, he knew, and he didn't care a rat's ass that he was.
All at once, Mac opened like a flower and starting pushing back onto the hard cock below him with a harsh growl. "Oh, Viiiiiiic..." You never told me it would be like thisso good so much more. And then he was riding his lover hard, the fire overtaking him at last and leaving in its place an animal in heat claiming his rightful mate in a frenzy of grunts and snarls.
"Oh, Vic!" he cried again, wailing now as he felt it all build inside, a heated coil of something electric snaking along the inside of his thighs to lick at his balls. "Oh, Fuck!" He grabbed hold of his cock and began to pump it, uncaring if the Director or anyone else might be watching. He was burning up, and Victor was a magical presence, sliding silken in and out of him, holding him steady in the circle of his arms.
"So sweet, so fucking tight," Vic was talking to him, gentling him with that jaded, soulful voice of his. "My sweet virgin baby." Reaching down, he wrapped his hand over Mac's and helped him work his cock, the strokes flashing faster and faster. Mac was sweating now, a golden sheen that Vic just had to taste, running his tongue over the soft skin of Mac's spine just above his shoulder blades. Their joined hands were a blur over the cock that they held between them, and Mac was plunging wildly back and forth now as he speared himself onto Victor's dick over and over, faster and faster.
Without any kind of warning, Mac went rigid. His body stiffened and he howled as he came, the stream of viscous white joining the slippery mess on the table beneath him.
Vic let go of the ex-thief's hand and clutched Mac's shoulders for leverage, beginning at last to do what he'd been desperate for all night. Holding his lover with rough, bruising fingers, he pounded into Mac; no longer caring if this was soft and gentle, or right--only knowing that this was how things were meant to be and that Mac was his, now and always.
"Love you, love you so much. Oh Mac!" Vic cried out as he slammed into Mac, bit his shoulder and came hard. The two of them collapsed down onto the table and lay panting, neither able for a minute to do anything other than merely lie and try to find air to fill their lungs.
Vic lay draped over Mac, shaking like a leaf. He wrapped his arms around Mac and held him tight, still murmuring nonsensical things to the ex-thief. "Baby? Oh, Mac, youre so good..." It wasn't the most intelligent thing he'd ever said in his life, but his brain had unaccountably turned to soup, and was even now (or so it seemed) running out of his ears to trickle down his body and evaporate. He pressed his lips against Mac, who lay panting beneath him.
Slowly, inevitably, the poor, abused table gave up the ghost, and collapsed beneath them with a grinding, splintering sound as it dumped them onto the floor. Mac moaned and started to shift, but Victor nuzzled his neck and hugged him gently to stop the movement.
"Shhh...stay still," he soothed and reluctantly pulled out of his slick, tight haven. Standing on shaky legs, he ran a hand through his hair; looking ruefully at the utter destruction of his dining room. "Fuck! I knew I should have gotten the butchers block table," he muttered.
Stroking Mac's soft dark hair, he whispered, "you okay, baby?" His beautiful lover was still on all fours in the middle of the tabletop, head hanging and breathing slowly and evenly. But he wouldn't look at Victor or answer him, something that was starting to worry the older man greatly. Oh, God; don't let me have fucked this upI can't give him up now pleasepleaseplease
He knelt in front of Mac and tilted the other man's face up, but the dark chocolate eyes were closed. "Mac, look at me," he demanded worriedly, a sharp 'Malcolm!' ringing out when the younger man refused to comply.
Mac, eyes still closed, grinned at him perversely and said, "Just a minute, babe, I have to find my brain. I think I might have shot it all over the table."
Victor's breath left him in a rush. "Don't scare me like that!" he growled. And then he was grinning too. "Well, besides being missing your brain, how are you?" Still scared to death that he'd screwed everything up, he started running over Mac with gentle hands; checking to be sure that his lover was really okay.
The feel of those slender, clever fingers stroking his still-tingling flesh was an agonizing heaven. "Oh, god!" he moaned savagely, "Come here!" Lightening fast, he turned and grabbed Vic and kissed him hard.
Immersed in checking the state of his partner's well being, Vic didn't see Mac pounce until it was too late. "Are you tender? There's no blood...ummmmmph!" After a second or two, he started giving back kiss for kiss.
When they came up for air, Mac panted, "Vic...shut up. Just kiss me," and proceeded to try and shove his tongue down the ex-cop's throat once more.
Victor happily obliged, dueling with Mac's slick tongue and feeling his sweetly abused cock starting to stir again. With a muffled 'oh, shiiiiiiit', he vowed to up his vitamin intake and idly wondered if Viagra was everything it was cracked up to be.
When he heard Mac murmur, "I wonder how long it'll be," very quietly, he thought: I've created a fucking monster. He grinned happily at that idea and started to lay back on the tabletop. He was just rolling to ensure that every part of him was in contact with every part of Mac, when there was a knock at the door. Logically Vic knew exactly who it would be, but he was still astonished.
"Huh? Oh Jesus, that was fast!" he muttered as he began to drag himself up. Mac was still looking deliciously sated, and hadn't tried to move at all yet.
"Who the hell is that?" With dawning horror he looked up at the chandelier. "Good grief! You don't think?" He paused, and then mused to himself, "Would she knock?" She certainly didn't make a habit of knocking when she visited him at home.
"I don't know." Vic was twitchy, looking around frantically for something to cover up with. The answer to the question suddenly became apparent as the door opened. Vic watched it widen in horrified fascination, and then exhaled noisily in resignation. "Oh fuck it! It's not like she hasn't seen it before."
Mac had been casting around for something that he could use to hide their blushes. Hastily he grabbed the tablecloth -complete with butter sauce, assorted remnants of their dinner, and newly spilled body fluids.
True to form, their boss strolled in and took in the state of the room and her agents with a wicked grin. "Well, well, well, what have we here, boys?" she drawled.
Mac shivered and whispered, "Vic?" as he moved closer to his lover and tried to wrap him up in the tablecloth.
Victor, however, had other ideas. Gently shrugging Mac off, he stood defiantly naked and faced his rival down. "What are you doing here?" he growled.
She smiled just a bit more and moved closer. "Oh, I thought a little...debriefing would be in order," she simpered and watched as Victor blushed again under the scrutiny.
A harsh breath, then, "This is breaking and entering..."
The Director continued to stalk him, moving in closer to run her finger down Victor's chest. Victor twitched under the unwanted contact, but otherwise refused to move.
"Oh, I wouldn't say that, Victor. It's my name on the deeds after all," she reminded him firmly.
"Yeah, whatever," Victor's eyes blazed with unholy green fire, "you still haven't answered my question." And then he noticed Jackie Janczyk standing off to one side with her mouth hanging open, eyes about to pop. "And what the hell is she doing here?" he snarled.
Mac noticed too--especially since the blonde looked like she was going to jump his lover any second.
"Oh, just great," he muttered angrily. "That's all we needed, to have her here," he glared at the ex-mob queen venomously.
Jackie seemed to be totally unfazed. Gaping and drooling slightly, she sighed, "Ohmigawd... Di, they are just so munchy," for all the world as if he and Vic were puppies on display in a store window.
The Director ignored Jackie's outburst, and strolled around the two men, taking in the view from every angle available, half-smile playing on her features. "Oh, I thought that Jackie might benefit from an object lesson," she drawled, running a red taloned finger down Mac's back and drawing a small gasp from him.
Vic spat a curse under his breath and started forward. "What object lesson?" he growled.
The Director's lip curled in derision. "Why teamwork, my dear Victor. You and Mac are such stunning examples."
Her hand traced its way from Victor's shoulder, across the broad chest and down towards his navel and he jerked a hand up to knock it away. "Huh?" He was snarling. "This has nothing to do with work."
"How many times do I have to tell you, Victor, I own you. I own both of you." The Director's smile had gone and her face was colder than anything one could possibly imagine - except for Victor, who matched her expression for expression. The temperature seemed to drop to below zero as their eyes met and held in a challenge.
"This is my..." Vic paused for a minute and looked at his lover before resuming, "our private life. You might own us, but you can't dictate everything we do." To stake his claim, he grabbed hold of Mac's hand.
Mac, who had been looking nervously between the two, moved a little closer to Victor and tried once again to cover his lover's nakedness with the tablecloth. "Vic. There's no arguing with her," he tried to soothe his angry lover by running his free hand down Vic's spine repeatedly with no success.
"Very wise, Mr. Ramsey." Mac didn't feel wise. His blurted utterance had drawn her attention, and he was sure as hell that he didn't want it. Pursing her lips, the woman - or was she a demon from the depths? - studied his half-naked body. "May I say how much your present - informal- attire suits you?"
Victor growled again, and pulled Mac slightly behind him. "Mine!" he snarled savagely. "All mine; and you'd better damn well keep your hands to yourself from now on! If you don't, you will find out just how far I can be pushed. This stops right now. Do we understand each other?"
The Director blinked once, but refused to back down. "That, my dear Mr. Mansfield, is where you are dead wrong. You are, both of you, mine." She paused theatrically. "Although I can be persuaded to loan you out from time to time." At Vic's feral snarl, she added, "however, I wouldn't dream of touching Mac now, Vic. You seem far too...assertive to argue with you," she smiled and stood on tiptoe to breathe into his ear, "and I like it. It's about time." She gave his bare ass the lightest of swats, to a similar glare from Mac.
Vic yelped, then stared at the woman as if she'd grown two heads. "Then what the hell have you been playing at all this time?" he asked wonderingly.
"I'm glad you're finallyshall we say... reconciling your differences?" she mused as Victor blushed bodily once more. "So entertaining. I may even keep the tape. Ta ta!"
The two of them watched her saunter out, Jackie in her wake, with their jaws dropped on their chests. There was a pause as they stood, frozen to the spot, and then Victor began to make a sound. At first it seemed as though he was growling again but it quickly welled up into a strangled scream.
"God, I hate that woman!"
"No kidding." Mac was watching his lover with a sort of horrified admiration. "She ought to be kept on a leash." He put his arms around Vic and started to soothe his furious lover, who stood rigid, his fists clenched as he panted in sheer rage. He turned in to hold Victor to him, and kissed him tenderly before pulling back with his familiar cocky grin. "It's okay, Vic. I shall protect you!" he said with a dramatic flourish in his voice.
Victor had begun to melt under the kiss, but he pulled back at that, and gave a shout of unwilling laughter. "Really? You'll keep my virtue intact? How brave of you."
Mac snorted with laughter. "I don't know about your virtue, but I'll be watching out for that cock of yours," he favored the older man with a lascivious smile that was truly evil and got one in return.
"This old thing?" Vic drawled in mock amazement. "Can't imagine what you'd want it for," he knew he was fishing, but after what he'd just gone through he felt he deserved the praise.
Mac reached down to take hold of it firmly, and waggled his eyebrows again. "Want me to find you a book?" he whispered hotly into Vic's ear.
Vic's evil smile grew wider. "I got one of my own, babe; a copy of the Karma Sutra on the nightstand," and felt Mac quiver against him. "How's about you and me take a shower, then I read you a bedtime story?"
"Well what are we waiting for?" Mac breathed, and led his lover off toward the bathroom.
~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~
to part 3: Never Let Me Down Again
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