Screw Existence: This Is The Way It Should End

By DeAnna

Spoilers: Yes, Essence mostly. Tunguska, Piper Maru and TRATB as well. Some others maybe, but who cares if I leave one or two out? Its the end; what does it matter anyway?

Disclaimer: Well, well, well. CC may have created the characters, but I am borrowing a few of the favorites.. Some still loved by him and other cast aside, discarded or retired from play.

Author's Notes: I dont want him to get killed off the show, but if he must, then I want it to be on *my* terms. So here is how I think it should end with my interpretations of a lot of the implied info dumped on us. Not AU and no last minute rescues. If he must die, this is the way it should be.

Rated: I havent decided between M or A (deathfic)

Summary: Picking up during the conference. Scully sitting with her hand over her eyes, Doggett & Skinner standing beside the desk together, Mulder standing across from Krycek and Alex seated mostly in the center.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Your baby was a miracle" Krycek's voice was quiet but intense and husky, as he tried to explain his motives to his wary audience.

Scullys hand dropped from her face and she sat forward slowly. Her face showed signs of fatigue and worry, as she stared directly into Kryceks eyes. "What makes my baby so special?"

Krycek looked down and weighed his options. He could tell the truth and trust the trio of men to help him keep Scullys baby safe. Or he could lie again and take the chance of them not taking him seriously. This was too important to let pride stand in the way.

Here goes nothing! I hope they believe this. Its as close to the truth as Mulder has ever been. "Dont you see? The miracle is that we have succeeded in genetically creating and altering a human being. Can you imagine the implications? A human baby with better human qualities than any of us combined. But the most important quality would be its natural immunity to the black oil. No need for vaccines or weapons. This babys blood could be a natural vaccine. A few drops could be used to inoculate large amounts of people."

Scully closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "So they want my baby for its blood. They want to do what? Put it into a coma and just keep its heart pumping blood all its life? Why cant they just come to me and ask if they could extract blood periodically?"

Krycek shook his head gravely, "No, it would mean exposure. They would have to admit the baby even exists at all. Besides the bastards are selfish. They would destroy the evidence as soon as the world was given the vaccine."

"How do you know so much about this Krycek?" Mulder hissed at his former partner, unable to take his eyes off the striking figure in front of him. Krycek always seemed to capture Mulders attention. A bizarre, sick fascination that has plagued Mulder for years. He tried to pay attention to what the triple-agent was saying, but his mind would wander as he studied and profiled, speculated and admired.

Admired? Where the hell did that come from? I dont admire that crippled Russian piece of shit. Mulder shook his head a bit to clear the visions that flashed through his photographic memory - memories of the cold and sitting beside Scully - outside - in the dark .

I used to wish I had a peg leg -.or hooks for hands. NO! A violent tremor shook Mulders body as he realized one of those people he admired with lost limbs, struggling through every single day to be normal, was sitting right in front of him. And Mulder was now acutely aware of this fact.

"So where does Billy Miles fit into all this?" Skinner barked impatiently. Once again Krycek looked down at the floor, editing his response to just the "need to know" information. "Technically he isnt actually Billy Miles anymore. He is one of them. A replacement, or alien replicant or whatever you want to call it. He may look like Billy, but he is now a practically unstoppable force. Fearless. And his only objective is to kill Scullys baby and make sure that no evidence remains."

Doggett looked from person to person unable to believe his ears, "You cant seriously expect us to believe this load of horseshit. Mulder? Skinner? This guy tried to kill me, and he left you for dead."

"Oh hes done far worse than that, Agent Doggett." Mulder spoke without taking his eyes off Krycek. "Hes a traitor, a liar, a thief and a murderer. You dont know the half of what hes done! This one-armed Commie piece of shit makes Captain Hook and Dr. Claw look like fuckin choirboys. "

Krycek stood up and came nose to nose with his ex-partner, "Ouch, that one hit below the belt, Mulder."

"Yeah, you just love it when I hit below the belt; dont ya, Krycek?" Mulder inched toward Alex, sneering into his face. Alex practically growled and opened his mouth to reply when he just suddenly stopped, tilted his head and smirked, "As much as I looove sparring with you Mulder, I think we should get back to the matter at hand. Which is to protect Scully and her baby at all costs."

"Protect it? You wanted me to kill Scully's baby!" yelled Skinner.

Krycek backed slowly away and spoke to Skinner, still staring into Mulders eyes, "No I didn't. If I had told you what was necessary to save Mulder's life, you wouldn't have believed me. I knew the ventilator was accelerating the change process and if I had tried to take Mulder off myself, I would probably have been killed before I had a chance to explain, and he would have been put back on. If I had told you it was necessary to take him off the ventilator to save his life, you would have thought I was trying to kill him and disregarded my instructions. No. This was the only way. Give you no choice. I knew you wouldn't kill Scully's baby. I knew that if faced with the moral dilemma to kill an unborn child or kill someone that is already technically dead, that you would do the right thing. And you came through with flying colors." Krycek turned and slightly bowed in sarcastic recognition of Skinner's achievement.

Doggett jumped up and got into Krycek's face, "Yeah, you think you are such a fuckin hero, don't you? Well, you had the opportunity to do the right thing and save Mulder's life by giving him the vaccine but you chose not to. You chose to make a statement by destroying it right in front of me. You have some nerve sitting there saying you wanted to save Mulder. If it weren't for Scully, he would have become the same thing Billy Miles did."

Krycek smirked, "What makes you think it was the vaccine I dropped in the garage? Are you people that stupid? Every drop of that vaccine is precious. And what I went through to get it -- he swallows hard -- I wouldn't waste it. Scully didnt save Mulder. I did. I just didnt tell anyone."

Doggett shook his head the whole time Krycek was talking "I don't buy it. Why would you make us think it was the vaccine you dropped? What kind of sadistic prick are you to play with people's lives like that?"

Krycek cocked his head slightly and glared at Doggett "You pissed me off."

Skinner stepped in to diffuse the situation and asked, " So what are we going to do now? Do you have some sort of plan? We cant stay here forever."

Krycek turned around and began to put his jacket on, "Yes, I think I know a way to eliminate Billy Miles and use that as a cover to hide where we are taking Scully to have her baby. After the baby is born we will have to figure something else out." ***

Fox Mulder peered out the window between the slats of the miniblinds in the warehouse office and mumbled to himself every so often, "How do you know hell come here?"

Krycek, Skinner and Doggett were assembling the bomb that they hoped would stop Billy Miles once and for all. They argued all the way to the warehouse as to which type of explosive should be used. Each thought they knew more about incendiary devices than the other two, so they ended up using a combination of each. "It should be unnoticeable and not make any noise, which means no clocks for timers -- even the slightest sound could be detected by Billy Miles The explosion cant spread out everywhere, setting the whole warehouse on fire -- it needs to be a controlled explosion --confined to a small area only. Should burn hot --so hot it reduces the body to ashes but will burn out quickly so there is no chance the whole warehouse will burn down -- and can be remote detonated from several yards away." Krycek looked up from the bomb to stare first at Skinner then at Doggett, "Did I leave anything out?"

Mulder spoke up again, but this time much louder, "Yeah, how do you know hell come here?"

Krycek looked at Scully sitting in the corner trying to appear comfortable but failing miserably and smiled, "Well, why dont you ask her? Im sure Scully can give you a logical, scientific explanation as to why Billy Miles knows exactly where she is and what shes doing every minute of the day." Alex chuckles and murmurs under his breath, as he turns his concentration back to the bomb, "Id like to hear that explanation."

The three men stepped back carefully and looked from one to the other. Finally Skinner took a deep breath and whispered, "There. All done. Finally." Once all three were safely away from the bomb, Krycek took out the remote detonator and began to check that it was working properly. For some reason, this seemed to piss just about everyone off.

"Just what the fuck do you think youre doing Krycek?" bellowed Skinner. "Put that down before you blow us all up."

Krycek smiled evilly, batted his eyelashes at Skinner and whispered seductively, "Dont worry, the last thing I want to do is blow you -- up I mean."

Embarrassed and really pissed, Skinner reacted badly to Kryceks annoying sense of humor and grabbed the front of his shirt, quickly jerked the detonator out of Kryceks hand and slammed him up against the wall. "I have had it with you. I dont care if you do still hold my life in the palm of your only hand and I dont care if I go to jail for the rest of my life for murder, I-am-going-to-fucking-kill-you-right-fucking-now!"

Everyone seemed to be paying attention to their own little tasks, no one watching as Skinner begins to beat the shit out of Alex.

After a few minutes Mulder started to get anxious, and a bit nauseated. His emotions starting to war against each other.

Shit-shit-shit! Skinner is a fucking mountain compared to Alex -hes gonna kill him -- Alex doesnt stand a chance. I should stop it -.no -.yes - no, I cant. That bastard murdered my father -- I think -- and he helped them abduct Scully and had a big part in getting Melissa killed. I think -- why isnt he fighting back? .Why isnt he defending himself? Damnit Alex! Do something! Dont just stand there and take it! DO SOMETHING YOU FUCKING MORON!! Shit-shit-shit!

What Mulder failed to see was, there was no way Alex could defend himself. Skinner had seen to that by breaking a couple of his real fingers at the beginning of his attack. He was completely helpless and wouldnt be stupid enough to call for help. It wouldnt matter anyway if he did, no one would bother to help him. So Skinner spent the next few minutes giving Alex what he thought was a well-deserved attitude adjustment.

After a while Skinner ran out of steam and stood over Alexs broken body. He was surprised to see the ex-Agent/assassin glare up at him and whisper, "You finally done? Were wasting time here." This seemed to bring Skinners anger back full force and he brought his foot back and kicked Krycek square in the chest. The sound of cracking ribs brings Scully out of her self-absorbed trance. Surprised that she is actually about to demand that Skinner stop when an enraged voice comes from behind them.

"Just what the hell do you think you are doing, AD Skinner?" Monica Reyes had come in to get more supplies to put in the car for her and Scullys getaway.

Skinner snapped out of his murderous haze to stare at Monica like hed never seen her before. Then he came back to himself. Once he realizes he nearly killed a completely defenseless, unarmed, handicapped person with his bare hands, Skinner began to shake and stumbled off to one of the other rooms to calm down.

No one moved. Finally Monica reacted and ran over to examine Alex. She was just about to turn him over when a sudden burst of energy threw her back a bit. She knew that her abilities could sometimes be very powerful, sometimes overwhelming, but this was different. She was getting only one feeling from this man. One sense --.one vibration --..Pain. Plain and simple -- pain. Not just physical and not just recent. Old pain. Emotional devastation. Physical abuse...for many, many years. Sexual degradation. Pain. More pain. Hunger. Thirst. And more pain. Fire. Searing. Agonizing. Wishing for death. Just faintly she could detect unrequited love, but it was so faint as to question if it were really there, or if he was just that good at hiding it.

These feelings hit Monica like a ton of bricks and all at once. She looked up and whispered "Could someone please help him, I dont feel well." She made it a few feet before breaking into a dead run to find a discreet place to lose her breakfast.

When Skinner reappeared everyone was back in work mode and ready to go. Even Alex had pulled himself up and was looking at the bomb with what seemed to be panic in his eyes. Monica had composed herself and was attempting to talk to Krycek while he put the finishing touches on the bomb.

Finally Krycek stood up, looking defeated and announced to the whole room, "Well, we should all thank AD Skinner for his outburst. Without it, this bomb might never have been damaged. Thanks a lot, Wally!"

"Damaged?" Mulder finally gave his full and complete attention to Krycek for the first time that day. "What do you mean damaged?"

Alex smirked, "what part of damaged do you not understand? This bomb was set to go off by remote detonator from anywhere up to a mile away. Plenty of time to get away without someone getting hurt. But Nooooo, his royal majesty king Walter had to kick me in the ribs and damage the detonators timer. Its useless. Now to ponder the question -- Is Walter Skinner brilliant and his plan worked perfectly, or just one lucky sonofabitch?"

Monica gathers Scullys things and ushers her out to the car. Just as she gets to the door, Mulder appears and takes Scullys arm to stop her.

"Scully, I just want to say -- um, well -- if this doesnt work. If something happens to me -- or you -- I just want to tell you how much I care for you and value your friendship and partnership. I love you more than my own sister. I just wanted you to know just in case."

Scully looks from Mulder to Krycek and back to Mulder. It becomes crystal clear hearing Mulder declare his love. His brotherly love. She smiles sadly knowing this would probably be the very last time she will ever see his face.

"Oh Mulder, I love you more than I do my own brothers. You are part of my heart. I was afraid I would hurt you if I told you about the father of the baby, but I see now that the truth isnt as hurtful as I thought it would be -- when you were gone, I was lost. I thought I was in love with you but the grief I was experiencing didnt include the loss of a lover -- only the loss of my dearest friend. At that time, there was only the two of us left to pick up the pieces -- to go on with our jobs -- and even to offer each other comfort. I have a feeling the father of the baby is Walter and not the result of successful gene splicing."

She hugs Mulder tightly and whispers through her tears, "I love you. I will miss you. Please be careful and get through this alive if possible." And without saying goodbye, Scully turns to leave quickly.

Mulder returns to the remainder of their group to see Skinner and Doggett deep in thought. Krycek, on the other hand leaned against a table looking very annoyed.

Every few minutes one would glance up at the other and then to Krycek and then say, "Youre right. There really is no other way. We need to think this through very carefully." "Yeah, we do have a tough choice here. We need to weigh all options, and then make a fair and impartial decision. Its the only way."

Mulder stared as this conversation went on for a few more minutes. Each passing minute seeming to annoy Krycek more and more until finally he snapped.

"ENOUGH! Cut the shit -- both of you! The least you could do is have the decency to be honest at a time like this! All that shit you've been spouting for years about the truth well, lets be truthful here. And realistic. We all know who has to stay behind to "delay" Billy Miles. We all know.....I do appreciate the pretense of trying to consider who will die, on some warped level, but we don't have time for everyone to act like it is a tough choice!"

Krycek walked from person to person trying to catch eye contact, but no one looked up, " Mulder can't die.....he's the only one that believes enough to actually save the world, but he's not assigned to the X-Files anymore so he doesn't have the access he needs. Doggett can't die. He is assigned to the X-Files. He can give Mulder the access he needs. Skinner can't die. Now that Kersh has been promoted the X-Files will be handed back to Skinner. He needs to be at the helm because he understands and believes and isn't on the Consortium's payroll. So that just leaves me! Me! The only expendable one here. The only one that no one will miss or grieve for when it's all over. Hell, you all have expressed the desire to kill me, why should it be so hard for you to impose a death sentence right now? Get real! I'm not stupid...I know exactly what has to happen. No I'm not happy about it, but we have no other choice. Either we all die and sentence the entire planet to a slow and painful death or I die and the population of the world lives. Hmm not too tough a choice. I would just appreciate it if you wouldn't pretend that it's not what you've wanted all along!"

Alex practically deflated. You could see the defeat and resignation on his face, " You can acknowledge my sacrifice to my face.....give me that much at least. I may have done a lot of bad things to a lot of people, but if I'm going to commit suicide for the world at least let me know I'm doing the right thing."

A few seconds of strained silence went by. Then a few more. Finally Alex spoke again, " Say something....anything....any of you!"

Nothing. No one spoke. Alex turned and grabbed his jacket feeling around in the pockets until he found what he needed, " Fine....just fine. Here Mulder, I have a gift for you. Since you've been fired you're gonna need a new job. Well, you're hired. You can replace me. You wanted the truth? You've got it! And all the responsibilities that go along with it. You are now responsible for saving the entire planet from alien invasion. No pressure. These are the keys to my office and apartment. Everything you've ever wanted to know about the tests, UFO's, your sister, the Consortium, Scully's baby, everything is there. Some information is in the filing cabinet at my office and some information is on my computer at home."

After thrusting the keys into Mulders hand he reached in his back pocket and pulled out another object, "Here's my wallet. Take that too...you might as well take it all...everything. Inside you'll find Marita's phone number, she'll give you the addresses that belong to those keys. Congratulations Mulder. By the end of the day, if I am successful in stopping Billy Miles, you will have everything you have ever wanted in the world. Scully, her baby, the truth and me dead....how does it feel to win the lottery?"

Mulder stood speechless. Krycek had often been sullen or sarcastic with him, but this was different. He had every right to vent today and without interruption. Yes, he did deserve for his sacrifice to be acknowledged but Mulder couldn't bring himself to open his mouth and say the words.

He couldn't say anything at the moment. The magnitude of what was going on finally sank in and it was more than his brilliant mind could take.

No more Alex Krycek.

Dead.

Finally.

That thought did *not* fill him with the joy or happiness hed thought it would.

Actually, he felt sick. Physically ill. Like someone had reached into his chest and ripped out his heart. He tried to reason with himself and make himself believe he would react the same way with anyone. But his conscience wouldn't let him, and Krycek deserved better.

This time he wouldn't narrowly escape with his life. This time he wouldn't just barely pull through or hold on one more day until he was rescued. This time he would die. There was no way to stop it.

Only in the movies or on American TV shows do buildings blow up and the heroes walk out through the flames unharmed and live to fight another day. This wasn't a movie or TV.

Krycek would do his best to physically restrain Billy Miles until they were out of the building, then he would blow it sky high. No possibility of escape....the bomb was strapped to his body. He wouldn't survive. Mulder only thought he'd feel this kind of pain when Scully or his Mother died. Why did he feel this for a traitor....liar.....murderer? Why? Why?

Krycek stood in the center waiting. But still no one said anything. No one even made eye contact. Their lack of reaction really hit Alex hard.

Jesus they really hate me....maybe I should be glad I'm the one to die....no one will care anyway or even miss me...fucking pathetic.

A loud sound outside the warehouse got everyones attention. Billy Miles.

Mulder checked the window and sure enough, it was Billy headed right for them. Just as Skinner, Doggett and Mulder were leaving the room Billy Miles came in and headed for the door that Scully and Reyes disappeared through.

Krycek made his first attempt to stop Billy by pulling out the plam and burying it into Billys neck. Still with an unnaturally huge amount of strength, Krycek was thrown backward into a wall and as he was sliding down, he left a trail of blood. Billy looked stunned and falls to his knees while trying to reach back and get the plam. He did manage to get back on his feet and stumbled toward Krycek once again picking him up and throwing him against the wall. Mulder realized that if Billy Miles killed Krycek right then, there would be no way to stop him. He had to help. But how? How could he help without staying until the bitter end? If he stayed he would be giving his life for this. A sudden realization hits Mulder and everything became clear for the first time in his entire life. He ran over to Skinner and Doggett, and gave Kryceks keys and wallet to Skinner. He then looked quickly to Doggett and told him to believe -- no matter what he must believe completely or it would all have been for nothing.

He then winked at Skinner and says, "You two dont strain anything fighting over Scully. I have something I have to finish. Goodbye"

Skinner and Doggett were stunned for a brief minute, until Billy Miles fell flat on the floor and began to writhe around trying to pull the plam from his body. They ran to the door, stopping only to give Mulder one last glance, and then they ran out of the building. Billy Miles seemed to be having a hard time recovering from the plam and was still trying to reach it when Mulder gathered Krycek in his arms. They looked into each others eyes for a long minute. They began whispering back and forth. Unimportant whispers like "You cant stay here, Mulder. You have to go. Please go"

"I know I dont have to stay, but I cant let you take all the credit for saving the world can I?" Alex chuckled. Leave it to Mulder to make jokes at a time like this.

"What about Scully and her new baby?"

"She wont even notice Im gone. What with the baby and her two knights in shining business suits. Besides, this is where I should be. Where I should have always been -- you were right --we were on the same side, I was just too stubborn to see it. Im sorry it took something like this to make me see it. To make me realize there is much more to life than being on the *right* side of an argument. You mean more to me than that. Um do you er understand what Im trying to tell you?"

A slow grin comes over Kryceks face, "oh just fucking great, you realize you are crazy about me just before I die? Either you have the worst timing in the whole world, or you are just full of shit!"

Mulder chuckles and looks down toward the ground, shuffling his feet "yeah, I guess I should have said something sooner huh?"

Kryceks eyebrows shot up and he cocked his head to the side, "Ya think?"

Krycek smiles slightly then shakes his head. "What?" asked Mulder. Krycek looked up into the hazel eyes and reveled in their lack of hatred, "Im just trying to imagine what my father will say when he finds out. You see, I had a brother. A twin in fact. He died a few years ago. We were close and I knew things my parents didnt about him. He was a cop. And then he wasnt. He also worked for a branch of government that no one knew about. Its strange that both of us will die the same way. One of his partners was trapped in a building that was about to explode. He and his other partner ran in to help. None of them came back out. When my father made inquiries into his death, he never got a straight answer. The Canadian Ambassador said they died in the explosion. But the American Liaison to the Canadian Consulate said they walked out of the building unharmed. It depends on which country you ask as to which version of the incident you get. The findings were covered up and all the pertinent paperwork lost or destroyed. But I knew. I felt it. He was my twin after all. He died. I knew the minute it happened."

Billy Miles pulled the plam out of the back of his neck and got to his feet. He staggered over to where Mulder and Krycek were lying on the ground. He grabbed Krycek by the shirt and pulled him to his feet. Mulder comes up behind Krycek and wrapped his arms around Alexs waist.

Feeling the bomb taped above his narrow waist Mulder looks up into Billys eyes and sneers, "You will NOT kill Scullys baby!" Alex realized what Mulder was doing and he dropped his head back onto Mulders shoulder, turning his head into the side of his neck to inhale deeply.

Feeling warm and loved -- a stupid, sappy saying repeated itself in his head over and over if I were to die right now, Id die a happy man.

To Mulder and Krycek it felt like things were going in slow motion. Mulder slid his hand up Alexs smooth chest and found what he was looking for. He turned and whispered two things into Kryceks ear. One was the word "now". At this command, Krycek reached out with his only hand and grabbed Billys shirt, yanking him forward as close to the bomb as possible. The other was whispered into Alexs ear.

"I love you Alex and I know you love me."

Alex whispered back "I always have".

Mulder leant in and covered Alexs mouth with his own just as he pushed the button to detonate the bomb.

End. Goodbye my beloved Alex; I will miss you.

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

Feedback to DeAnna

| Alex Annex | Characters | Stories/Alpha | Stories/Author | Home |